How The Grubler Stole Splatfest!

[dinoboys654]

Every Inkling and Octoling, in Inkopolis Liked Turf wars a lot...
But the Grubler, Who lived just off The Coast of Inkopolis, Did NOT!

The Grubler hated Inkopolis! The whole Inky city!
Now please, don't ask why. No one knows why he so pitty.

It could be his Four arms are just too itchy or melley.
It could be, perhaps, that his ink is too sticky or smelly.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his three hearts were two sizes too small.

But Whatever the reason, His hearts or his inkys,
He stood there on his cliff, Hating the Inklings and Octolings,

Staring from his Island cave with a sour, Grubley frown,
At the warm lighted windows far in their town.

For he knew every Inkling and Octoling, in Inkopolis from far and near.
Was busy now, prepping there gear.

"And they're preparing there Weapons!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Splatfest! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his tentacle fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to keep Turf wars from coming!"

For Tomorrow, he knew, That all of the Cephalopod girl and boys,
Would gather in Teams of four, With shooters and squirters they all dress.

And then! Oh, the mess! Oh, the mess!
Mess! Mess! Mess!

That's one thing he hated! The MESS!
MESS! MESS! MESS!

Then the Inklings and Octolings, From the C to the B, will start up to rank.
And they'd rank! And they'd rank! And they'd RANK!
RANK! RANK! RANK!

They would rank to get new Gears, and more Ink Filled tanks.
Which was something the Grubler could Never say thanks!

And THEN They'd do something He hates most of all!
Every Inkling and Octoling in Inkopolis, the tall and the small,

Would gather in crowds together, With DJ's and Hands clapping.
They'd Dance and Wiggle with slapping. And the DJ's would start rapping!

They'd rap! And they'd rap! And they'd RAP!
RAP! RAP! RAP!

And the more the Grubler thought of this Inky Splatfest Rap,
The more the Grubler thought, "I must stop this whole crap!"

"Why, for forty-five years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop Splatfest from coming! But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRUBLER GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Grubler laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Pirate's hat, eyepatch and a coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grubley trick!" he Cheered,
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Blackbeard!"

"All I need is a crew..." The Grubler looked around.
But, since Pirates don't exist, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the old Grubler? No! The Grubler simply said,
"If I can't find a crew, I'll make one instead!"

So he called out all his pet Crabs, Then he grab some clothing,
And He made them Wear Head scarves and Dirty shirts that were soaking.

THEN He loaded his Crew with some bags And some old empty jars,
On a large sail ship he built, With some Swashbuckling bars.

Then the Grubler said, "To Inkopolis!" And the ship sailed away,
Toward the city where the Inklings and Octolings Lay asleep in their bay.

All their windows were dark, quiet wind filled the air.
All the Cephalopod girl and boys were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he and crew came to the four little shops on the square.

"This is stop number one," the old Captain Grubler hissed,
Then they Sneak into there Stores, empty bags in there fist.

He plans to steal All the Weapons Gears and Zapfish. He may not be quite the robbler.
But, If his crew can, And if The Octarians can, then so could the Grubler.

He got stuck in the pipes only once, for a moment or two.
Then he oozes his way in from the Toilet flue.

Where the Splatfest posters all hung in a row.
"These posters," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slosh, with a smile not so cheer,
Around the whole shops, and he took every gear!

Power boots! And Goggles! Blasters! and Tees!
Bobble Hats! And Snorkels! Brushers! And Seas!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grubler's crabby crew, very quickly,
Carried all the gags, And loaded them one by one, On there Ship!

Then he and his crew snuck into the Cephalopod houses. They lowered All there Ink Ranks!
They took All there Ink Gears! They took All there Ink Tanks!

They cleaned out there Arsenals as quick as a flash.
Why that Grubler, He even took All their Hard-earned Cash!

Then They stuffed all the Weapons On there ship like its eating a dish.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grubler, "I will take away the Zapfish!"

And the Grubler snatch the Zapfish, and shove them into jars,
Then he heard a small sound like the coo of stars.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small Inkling!
Little Lili Olihn, who was more than an Sibling.

The Grubler had been caught by this tiny Squid daughter,
Who'd got out of home to see what was the matter.

She stared at the Grubler and said, "Mr Pirate?”
"Why are you taking our Zapfish? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grubler was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Arrr, Why me sweet little beauty," the fake Captain Pirate lied,
"These Zapfish are Runnin out of power, the whole city will go black when they dried."

"So I'm taking them all home to me hideout, me dear."
"I'll charge them up from there. Then I'll bring them back here."

And his fib fooled the Inkling. Then he patted her dome,
And he got her a drink and he sent her back home.

And when Lili Olihn went home with her cup,
HE went to his ship and stuffed the Zapfish up!

Then the last thing he took Was the Music for the radio!
Then he flush down the Toilet himself, That old lying blow.
On their arsenals he left nothing but his filthy Ink from head to tow.

And the only thing That he left in the Cephalopod homes,
Was a coin, That was Not even Enough to pay loans.

Then he did the same thing to the other Inklings homes,
leaving coins Not enough to pay the other Octolings loans.

It was quarter past dawn... All the Inklings, still a-slip,
All the Octolings, still asnooze When he packed up his ship,

Packed it up with their weapons! The rankings! The splatlings!
The Tees! And the Abilities! The Bomblings! The Grabblings!

One hundred fifty miles! To the edge of Waterfall Sumpit,
He sailed with his load far, Far away to Dump it!

"PoohPooh to the Ink Scums!" he was grublishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Splafest is coming!"

"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll be!"
"Their mouths will hang open for Two minutes or three,
Then the Inklings and Octoings in Inkopolis will all cry BooWoomy!"

"That's a sight," grinned the Grubler, "That I simply MUST see!"
So he grabbed his telescope. And put it in front of his eye with glee.

And he did see something on the horizon.
He started in blur. Then he started to size in.

But what he saw wasn't sad! Why, what he saw looked happy!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS happy! DAPPY!

He stared at Inkopolis! The Grubler popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Inkling and Octoling in Inkopolis, the tall and the small,
Was playing turf war! Without any weapons at all!

He HADN'T stopped Splatfest from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grubler, with his wide open mouth, filled with whoa,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"

"It came with out Sloshers! It came without Scrollers!"
"It came without Dualies, Chargers or Rollers!"

And he puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grubler thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Turf wars," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Turf wars...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

And what happened then? Well...in Inkopolis they say,
That the Grubler's three small hearts Grew three sizes that day!

And the minute his hearts didn't feel quite so tight,
He sailed with his load through the bright morning light,

And he brought back the gears! And the levels for the ranks!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grubler, filled the Ink tanks