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This is a cool and well thought out idea that I like, but I see one problem: I'm starting to be able to recognize pieces of gear and what abilities they give. It doesn't make a huge difference in practice, but technically if I recognize those neon shoes, I might know to account for that when...
I don't think there is always a set strategy. Instead, you have to react to what the enemy is doing. If you run this proposed scout + 2 assault + tank strategy, but the enemy effectively runs 4 scouts, they'll overwhelm your whole team and kill them one by one resulting in a push to the spawn...
Huge flaw in your theory: demographics. Which do you think would win a splatfest, video games or movies? Let's try google:
https://www.google.com/trends/explore#cmpt=q&q=video+games,+movies&geo=US
oops.
Also, theme parks are more abundant than water parks, further skewing google trends.