how do you continue to enjoy games, like Splatoon, with community toxicity?

[Masked_Katz]

This can be asked for many social-based games, but Splatoon has been the only videogame I've played for a long time. I know this is first and foremost a me issue, but I struggle to stay passionate about the games I play because I always come across bad crowds, whether it be from social media or bad sportsmanship within the game itself.

I don't do this anymore, but I had fun creating "custom weapons" for Splatoon, new kit variants with their new art and such, but I seriously only ever got people cursing or making fun of me for not doing a good enough job. I feel like whenever I try to have fun, from sharing gameplay videos or creating art projects, there's someone who wants to take things more personally and/or go out of their way to ruin my experience for not sharing the same mindset.

From what I've seen, people are used to this sort of thing since they have grown up alongside the behavior with online games over time, but I have been terminally online since I was a kid and for some reason developed that sort of awareness. I'm currently in therapy and covering this topic, but I was curious if this has been an issue for anyone else out there or if there's any advice I could take away from here.

 

[ThestralZ]

Toxicity is everywhere on the internet, it's kinda a common theme. Sorry that people are making fun of your art and weapon builds though, that isn't cool. Just report people if they harass you and send threats. Most people aren't toxic here on this website, but Twitter and Reddit attract more toxicity just because of their size. Hope you stick with Splatoon though, we need more people to play this game.

 

[Madt123]

I just don't have social media/discord lol

 

[missingno]

I quit my favorite game of all time, which I'd rather not name, because of bullying and harassment that was directed at me. It was a small community where everyone knew everyone, so it was kinda inescapable for me.

And then another of my favorite games, Them's Fightin' Herds, is currently going through turmoil because the publisher fired the entire dev team and released the final DLC in a buggy and incomplete state. We're all pissed off and we're trying to figure out how to even move forward when it's extremely unlikely anything will ever get fixed, but there's also a sense of solidarity in that we're all pissed off together. Everyone I've met through that game has been wonderful and kind, the community means a lot to me, and we're trying to figure out how we can at least keep events alive and stick together.

So far my experiences with Splatoon have been positive. Even when the comp teams I played for didn't pan out, we stayed on good terms, no bad blood.

TBH, the fact that this game is so large makes it easy to just tune out annoying people, which is very unlike the niche titles I usually play. Frustrations with Nintendo can be loud, so I get if it might feel grating to listen to, but it's not like I disagree with those frustrations. You can be mad at Nintendo as long as you're kind to other players.

Sorry to hear if your experience hasn't been great, I honestly wish I had advice for you.

 

[Aiko.Octo]

I don't want to say 'grow a thicker skin' because honestly, no one should have to do that in order to be a part of a community; harassment and bullying ought to be unacceptable everywhere. It's one of those many reasons I prefer forums (and to a lesser extent discord servers but those can have other downsides) over large-scale social media, because if someone is being awful you can report them and assuming you have responsible mods/admins, the harasser will typically actually suffer consequences, up to and including being removed from the forum/server so they can no longer bother you or others. But there at also other forms of toxicity other than direct, punishable harassment that can seep in anywhere, so it's hard to totally escape it.

All that said, developing some level of resilience against that negativity is an effective and healthy way to keep it from chipping away at your morale. In my experience one of the best ways to build and reinforce that resilience is to spend as much time as you can around/interacting with people who are supportive and positive towards you and your viewpoints-- people who make you feel accepted and validated.

Finding those people can sometimes be tricky, but in a fanbase this large there's bound to be others like you who feel the same way you do. Go out of your way to treat others like you want to be treated, IE leave positive comments on others' work, show appreciation and support to others spreading the kind of positivity that you like seeing and want to see more of. Eventually you'll find folks that resonate with you and mirror that treatment back to you, and from there you can build relationships, make friends, and hopefully find yourself in a circle of exactly the kind of people you wish the whole community was made up of.

If you're walking down the street alone and some rando insults you for no reason, it can feel bad, but if you're walking with a group and someone insults you, it's much easier to roll your eyes and laugh it off together ('what's this guy's problem?'). It doesn't impact you nearly as much, and you can go on enjoying your walk.

That said, all this can be easier said than done. Putting yourself out there and searching for like-minded folks is kind of a numbers game and it can get emotionally exhausting fast, especially when you don't feel like you're getting anything back. Also, everyone approaches socializing differently and gets different things out of different interactions. So this won't be the right solution for everyone, but I feel like it's worth presenting since it has helped a lot for me and others in my circles. If you're discussing it in therapy you're probably in a pretty good position to put together the strategy that is best suited for you personally, and that's a huge advantage!

For what it's worth, I think this is something most people struggle with from time to time whether they talk openly about it or not, so at least you're not alone. I hope you can find something that helps you!