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I'm really sorry for your loss. When my mum was in another extremely depressive episode and attempted suicide like 7 times, I learnt that I'm basically nothing without the people I love, because if she had died any of those times, my life would have completely fallen apart and gone to **** and idk how I would live with an all-consuming sense of guilt.
I'm not trying to compare my struggle to yours, it's far from it, because you actually lost someone, but what my experience taught me is that I'm flawed because I don't value all the people I'm close to enough, and
"When the lights shut off
And it's my turn to settle down
My main concern
Promise that you will sing about me
Promise that you will sing about me"
Essentially, what I'm saying is that it's really important to mourn and remember people because in a hundred years from now, everyone who's on this website will be dead, so all the petty, material bullshit that we stand for will be inconsequential. It's more important what we're ready to build and pass down to our children.