Personally, I only really play ranked because tower control, splat zones and rainmaker (to a lesser extent) are modes I enjoy a lot more than turf wars. Sure, going up in ranks is satisfying, but going down in ranks because of losing streaks and/or internet misbehaving is a bit disheartening.
I love Splatoon as well, it is nice to know that Nintendo can still make great and innovative games, even when they are set on destroying some of their old school franchises (not going to mention names, to avoid backlash).
Anyways, I enjoyed reading your story.