Jeff in The Secret of the Salmonids

[jeffthesquid]

Hello again,

It's Jeff the Squid here. So I've been playing Splatoon story mode and got a couple of ideas for this story. I thought long and hard about the game and, finally, I have direction of how the story will go. To give a brief summary, in this story Jeff becomes and agent (probably Agent 5) and in under the new captain (original Agent 3) with Callie and Marie, though, they have much bigger roles in the story as you will see. Jeff, Agents 1, 2, and the captain discover something really surprising about the Salmonids. You'll see.

Anyways, without further adieu (whatever that word means) I am very happy to present this new exciting RP with Jeff (me). Grab some snacks, you know this stuff:

Anyways, in all seriousness, eat your vegetables! KFC is part of a balanced diet or something like that...

About this RP: You do not need to register your characters. Just post if you want to or comment. The RP is mostly about Jeff but feel free to post if you want.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- RP Begins Below -o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

 

[a hot mess]

this is P O D D
I'LL KILL YOU

 

[jeffthesquid]

P O D D rules!

Jeff loves Podd!

Mr. Nogami loves Podd too!

 

[jeffthesquid]

Jeff at Work

When we last left Jeff he just got a job at Crab Leg Capital building some games or something like that.

"Yes, I totally get that Mr. Nogami but why do we have to make the game mirror real life? Alterna wasn't really about mammalians it was about lost civilization of humans. How does "Return of Mammalians" even explain the story?", asks Jeff.

"Jeff, here at Squid Research Lab we are committed to document the everyday life of squids through video games.", answers Mr. Nogami.

"But, aren't we squids?", asks Jeff.

"Yes but we need to document the exciting parts of our lives in the video game that I will dub Splatoon.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Mr. Nogami, real life kind of sucks. I means a lot has changed in the years that turf war was active. There has been a lot of reconstruction of the Inkopolis and Splatsville has very different culture when it comes to turf war. I remember that turf war was about surprising your opponent with a unique attack when it was centered in Greater Inkopolis but here in Splatsville it seems people like just getting into a good brawl. That blows in my opinion!", comments Jeff.

"So what do you have in mind, Jeff?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"I'd say let's not change our stages just yet as we don't want to bother Chef with this extra work. Let's add some stylish moves.", answers Jeff.

"We at Squid Research Labs don't care about stylish - just repetition and posting brand names on the weapons to get young squids to like the game. The youth is all about brand labels these days!", comments Mr. Nogami.

"Yeah, like Tony Kensa and his lack of creativity. He's only famous because he's Marie's cousin. He sucks!", remarks Jeff.

"We need brand names if we want to sell our game.", suggest Mr. Nogami.

"No, we don't need carp like that. We need to program some new stylish moves... and why are we calling ourselves Squid Research Labs... I thought we are Crab Leg Capital.

"Crab Leg Capital is a company and it owns the building but we're a startup and we're Squid Research Labs.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

 

[jeffthesquid]

Mr. Nogami pauses for a second then looks at Jeff's laptop.

"Well, show me what you mean by stylish moves.", commands Mr. Nogami.

"So I added a radar map to the side of the screen. Rather than taking up the whole screen like it normally does it takes up 1/6th of the area.", remarks Jeff.

"Ok... but don't you think this will block the game play screen?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"No! You can turn it off when you're not using stylish moves.", explains Jeff.

"These buttons to open the radar menu and the same buttons to close it.", explains Jeff.

"I see... so what can you do with the radar to get stylish moves?", inquires Mr. Nogami.

"Just hold down the B button and draw a line then press B again to confirm it.", explains Jeff.

"Ah, your character moves... so can you fire your weapon while that happens?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Yes, of course! You can even throw splat bombs!", exclaims Jeff.

"What's the point of making your player follow a path?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"The point is to allow strategic execution of an attack plan based on where the other players are. We will add in green dots to show enemy players. This will allow moves like my famous Ticker-Tack-Attack!", explains Jeff.

"So you're basically swimming around the opponent and then surfacing to see where they are. Ok, but that seems to be confusing.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Yes, of course, and it fails quite a bit. This radar system will allow players to execute these stylish moves without having to surface. However, the opponents will also be able to execute stylish moves as well. You'll be able to run, swim, surface, and fire your weapon but just not move on your own while the stylish move is executed.", explains Jeff.

"So, how often will be player be able to do this?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Ten times per battle but more with ability chunks. Still not sure if ten times is enough or too much.", explains Jeff.

"Sure, sounds very interesting and innovative. How will the ability chunks looks like?", inquires Mr. Nogami.

"Like this.", answers Jeff.

"No, no, no, no. We can't put your face in the game... I mean you're even writing the game with libraries that use your name. This is Squid Research Lab not Jeff Research Lab.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Dude! I invented it and I'm a handsome squid!", laughs Jeff.

"Yeah...", comments Mr. Nogami.

 

[jeffthesquid]

The Salmonid Invasion

After working for a while Mr. Nogami and Jeff take a lunch break.

Just then Marie shows up.

"Ah, how can you guys eat all of that trash? I guess I'm asking nerds why they eat the way they do... Anyways, have you looked at the color of the sky?", asks Marie.

"No.", replies Jeff.

"Not at all. We were discussing our new game, Splatoon.", adds Mr. Nogami.

"Whatever, so if you notice... it's red.", remarks Marie.

"Is that a bad thing?", asks Jeff.

"Well, look outside. What do you see?", asks Marie.

"Some fish with pants and propeller hats. Can they talk?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"I don't know and it doesn't matter right now. They're in the city and the mother ship is here too! I'm not asking for a lot but we need to find out why they are coming here.", explains Marie.

"Nope, we're eating our KFC and Ding Dongs.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"WHOA! WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU, MARIE?", screams Jeff.

"Don't you see how serious this situation is?", asks Marie.

"Yeah, it sure got worse - we have no chicken now!", exclaims Mr. Nogami.

"Come on, don't be immature you old farts! The Salmonids are invading the city and we need your nerd powers!!!", exclaims Marie.

"Why don't you call on Sheldon and Agent 3. They can work together to achieve what you need.", remarks Jeff.

"Sheldon is smart and Agent 3 is strong but together they're not that creative. Sheldon already created the weapons he could and his creativity seems to be limited but you seem to be able to create things that are really out there! We need your flying abilities to scope out where the Salmonids are invading from.", explains Marie.

"Marie, if I could be of help why not recruit employees from Grizzco to solve the problem?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"This is not Salmonids coming to spawn eggs this time - it's an actual invasion. They're not defending their spawning grounds they're attacking the city. See, they're trying to get in here. I think they want to destroy our infrastructure and take down the city!", explains Marie.

"Not a problem, I'll just go back to Greater Inkopolis. I live there, after all.", comments Jeff.

"Don't make me splat you, Jeff. Just think, if the Salmonids take over here they'll come for Greater Inkopolis next. You'll have no home to go to.", explains Marie.

"You're being too neurotic, Marie.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Step aside, Jeff.", commands Marie.

"Oh, I see your point!", remarks Jeff.

"Well, good! Jeff, come with me. We'll drive back to Inkopolis, pick up your gear and head back here.", explains Marie.

"Now?", asks Jeff.

"Yes, now! We don't have much time. This invasion can last for days! Let's go!", commands Marie.

 

[jeffthesquid]

Getting to Jeff's House

Jeff, Nogami, and Marie descend the tower and go towards Splatsville plaza where a taxi driven by Jel La Fleur is waiting.

"Wait, Jel drives a taxi?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Hey Mr. Nogami, how do you like your lab coat?", asks Jel La Fleur.

"I love it but when did you start driving taxis?", asks Nogami.

"Oh, my store does not make enough because of the economic downturn from the last invasion of the city. People are not buying as many clothes but they sure need rides. I own this taxi and it helps make ends meet!", replies Jel La Fleur.

"Well, that's good to hear.", remarks Jeff.

"Jeff? Correct?", asks Jel La Fleur.

"You've seen me flying?", asks Jeff.

"Yes, and I heard about you in Turf War. The squids that come into my shop talk about you a lot and even describe you well!", replies Jel La Fleur.

"Jel, I hate to interrupt the conversation but we're in need of a ride to Inkopolis. We need to get Jeff and ourselves suited up for battle.", remarks Marie.

"For battle? I can't fight and my only super power is playing video games.", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Is that what's you're doing Mr. Nogami? Is that really necessary at this time?", yells Marie.

"I can't fight but I can program and I know someone or some robot that can fight for me!", exclaims Mr. Nogami.

"Oh yes, Mr. Nogami is quite the programmer. You should see the robot in the Lobby. It's pretty funny!", laughs Jel La Fleur.

"Anyways, can you drive us to Inkopolis. We need to head to... Jeff, where are we going?", asks Marie.

"Oh, yeah. I live right at the park by Blackbelly Skatepark.", replies Jeff.

"Ok, kids, let's get going!", chuckles Jel La Fleur.

 

[jeffthesquid]

Jeff, Marie, Mr. Nogami, and Jel La Fleur drive across Hammerhead Bridge all the while the sky is still red and it appears that the Salmonids are swarming Greater Inkopolis as well.

"We need to get to your house quick because it looks like the Salmonids have invaded Inkopolis. We just can't waste time... Jel, can you step on the gas?", asks Marie.

"I'm going fast but this bridge can be dangerous especially since we're driving on top of it.", replies Jel La Fleur.

"What? Why?", asks Marie.

"Well, I'm not driving through all those boxes and creates down there!", explains Jel La Fleur.

"This is so dangerous, Jel!", exclaims Marie.

"Mr. Nogami is unaffected by the site of danger as he plays Splatoon on his laptop!", remarks Mr. Nogami who starts talking in third person.

"Dang! If we could only fly! I don't really like driving.", remarks Jeff.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"Oh my squids! What is that? It can't be the mother ship! Jel, can you try to outrun that thing?", asks Marie.

"Girl, I'm going as fast as I can and I need to concentrate on my driving or we'll fall into the sea.", explain Jel La Fleur.

"OH CARP! IT GONNA PICK US UP! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!", cries Marie.

"Whoa! Really? That thing is cool! I wonder where it will take us to?", inquires Jeff.

"MR. NOGAMI, REALLY? HOW CAN YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES AT A TIME LIKE THIS. LOOK AT HIM HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE!", screams Marie.

"What's so bad about the mother ship picking us up? We might get to our destination faster.", remarks Jeff.

"It might drop us into the sea. I don't think the Salmonids want to play nice and the same reason why we're probably the only car on this bridge as you can see when we started out.", adds Marie.

"Only car? What do you mean?", asks Jeff.

"Normally, there are a lot of cars lined up to enter the bridge during a Big Run but this time no one was there - I mean no one. Not a single car trying to enter the bridge and this bridge is always empty!", explains Marie.

"Do you think they were dropped into the ocean?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Who knows? OH CARP!", cries Marie.

"It's going to drop us in the sea, WHAT DO WE DO, MARIE?", cries Jeff.

"Listen, we have a very short time to bail out -", remarks Marie.

"What - sorry to butt in but we don't need to jump into the water, plus the car could fall on us. We could climb out and grab onto the vacuum hose. We simulated a Big Run in our game Splatoon and there was such as scenario where the player could board the mother ship by first climbing onto the hose.", explains Mr. Nogami.

"OK... WE NEED TO... ACT NOW!!!", yells Marie.

"Oh, for the love of Inkopolis and Splatsville can you get rid of that stupid laptop? Even in a situation like this you still play video games... what a geek...", remarks Marie.

"Well, it looks like the mother ship is not that big so maybe we can climb to the surface and get in those boxes?" suggest Jeff.

"Good thinking for a Nerd... we'll wrestle those Chinooks and force them to get us to solid ground.", explains Marie.

"You mean we're stronger than them?", asks Jeff.

"Yes, they're smaller than us so we should have more muscle power and I have my charger in case they try otherwise.", remarks Marie.

"Mr. Nogami needs to save his laptop in all this chaos!", adds Mr. Nogami.

"Mr. Nogami if you mention that stupid laptop one more time I'm blasting it!", yells Marie.

"Shoot! Mr. Nogami want know how to spend his time without his laptop!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Oh, squids!", sighs Marie.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"Well, there goes the car just like I thought would happen. Ok, everyone's secure?", asks Marie.

"Yep.", remarks Jeff.

"Yes, Hun!", remarks Jel La Fleur.

"Mr. Nogami fine!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Good. It's funny that the Chinooks have not existed their boxes. I wonder who or what is driving this thing? Must be some kind of AI.", suggests Marie.

"Hmm... AI...", ponders Jeff.

"Jeff, we're developers and we've programmed AI before.", adds Mr. Nogami.

"Yeah, like that one time we programmed the robot.", adds Jeff.

"Oh... no... not that terrible thing. It's so stupid!", remarks Marie.

"Really?", asks Jel La Fleur.

"Yes, it just shoots strait and doesn't even fight with you. It just mirrors your shooting in the same direction!", explains Marie.

"Well, we're working on that!", remarks Jeff.

"Whatever.", remarks Marie.

"Jeff, let's link into the mother ship!", suggests Mr. Nogami.

"Yeah!", exclaims Jeff.

 

[jeffthesquid]

Mr. Nogami then connects a USB cable from his laptop to what looks like a USB port on the ship.

"Mr. Nogami, you sure that's a USB port?", asks Jeff who is confused.

"Yes, Mr. Nogami knows a USB port when he sees one! Don't question Mr. Nogami. Mr. Nogami is master programmer and a black laptop at that. Your laptop is still white and you will not get your green laptop until you can recognize USB ports.", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Yes Master Nogami! I will follow your wise teachings!", replies Jeff.

"Mr. Nogami is very proud of you young programmer!", exclaims Mr. Nogami.

"But Mr. Nogami, I'm 47 and you're 51 - hardly a difference in age. I'm not even considered part of the youth of Inkopolis. I'm just an unfresh old fart who works and has no life!", remarks Jeff.

"Jeff, you are not old in programming years. You only started programming seven years ago. I started programming 20 years ago and you're not even a green laptop. It is experience that determines your programmer age. Also how can you say you have no life when we are about to hijack a Salmonid mother ship!", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Yeah, you're right! But before I got into turf war my life did suck. Glad I ditched the work culture and took some risks. Man, do I feel it's worth it!", exclaims Jeff.

"Guys, we need to know where we're going. Maybe I should call Marina because she may know a bit about hacking this thing.", explains Marie.

"No Marie-san, we need to become heroic programmers because most programmers tend to be lame and dorky. They're just nerds who can't get their eyes off the screen and experience stuff like this!", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Ah, Mr. Nogami... well, if you can hack the machine do it. If you guys get stuck I'll phone Marina.", replies Marie.

"Hey Marie, can we be in the New Squidbeak Splatoon?", asks Jeff.

"No, the New Squidbeak Splatoon is not well suited for this mission. We need a new name...", replies Marie.

"What about the Nerdbeak Splatoon?", suggests Jeff.

"Well, let's make a deal... if you two can hack this thing and get us safely to our destination you can form your own Splatoon and name it whatever you want!", remarks Marie.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"Ok, we got Windows 95 running. I had to reboot because Splatoon crashed.", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Wait, why are you using Windows 95?", asks Marie.

"Marie-san, Windows 95 uses less memory and it works well for our style of programming.", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Ok... Marina uses BSD instead and it's more secure!", remarks Marie.

"Marie-san, do not question the ways of Nogami!", replies Mr. Nogami.

"Whatever...", remarks Marie.

"Ok, Jeff, let's go to our computer icon and see what drives are connected.", instructs Mr. Nogami.

"Hmm... they still have the 3 1/2 in drive. You that drive is so old that Marie didn't even exist at the time!", laughs Mr. Nogami.

"Don't even go there, Nogami!", yells Marie.

"Oh, those 24-year-olds!", laughs Jeff.

"Don't make me come down there Jeff!", screams Marie.

"Wait! Do you notice that drive F has the word Octarian in it?", asks Jeff.

"Yes, I noticed that at the start but I didn't even flinch. I was always certain that Salmonid technology came from the Octarians. Salmonids are too dumb to come up with that technology on their own.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"So we look into it?", asks Jeff.

"No, Jeff-san, remember your training. We must find out what programs they're running. For that we need to log into the system running this ship. It may also be Windows 95 and we'll need a password. We don't know it but we'll have to find it!", explains Mr. Nogami.

"So we'll open up the registry editor and look for a file called User.dat which may lie in the Octarian drive. If it resides in the Windows folder we can be assured Windows 95 is on their system! I mean who wouldn't use Windows 95?", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Yeah, simple and easy!", adds Jeff.

"Well, there it is! And I knew that the DJ must have given then technology! So confirmed, Windows 95, and not programmed by Marina!", laughs Mr. Nogami.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"Ding dong! We're in! So what do you see, Jeff-san, and what will you do next? Remember your training!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Well, normally I would click on a folder that looks familiar but I know that we need to find out what programs they are running.", replies Jeff.

"Yes, you have learned well from Mr. Nogami!", exclaims Mr. Nogami.

"I see the Octarian AI Daemon, Mr. Nogami-san!", exclaims Jeff.

"No one calls Mr. Nogami, Nogami-san. Only Mr. Nogami calls people san. Remember your training young grasshopper!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Dude, I'm not young, I'm 47 - only a few years below you!", exclaims Jeff.

"Hey, boys! Quit messing around!", cries Marie.

"Ok, I'm going to look for the daemon but what if we don't find the source code?", asks Jeff.

"If we don't find the source code we'll need to create our own daemon and mock the system. We don't need to mock every detail but we'll need to be able to drive the mother ship with this Nintendo Switch controller that I have.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"That is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard and your killing Jel La Fleur over here. She has to suffer through this stupidity. Can you clowns stop messing around and do something useful otherwise I'll just give Marina a call.", remarks Marie.

"Just minute Marie-san!", exclaims Mr. Nogami.

"Mr. Nogami, this is your last warning. DON'T CALL ME SAN! I'M NOT YOUR GRASSHOPPER AND YOU OLD FARTS NEED TO STOP MAKING FUN OF MY AGE. I'M 24 AND AN ADULT. SHOW SOME RESPECT TO US GROWN UPS! I've got a charger and it's not going to be pretty unless you want to get splatted again!", remarks Marie.

"Geeze, Marie is feisty today!", remarks Jeff.

"Yeah, remember that time Marie lost-", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Whoa! Marie! How did you get down here?", asks Jeff.

"I'm grabbing onto your laptop, but in all seriousness we need to do something quick. I don't know where this thing is taking us. Please concentrate on your programming!", commands Marie.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"Ok, I found the file that we need to edit - it's an external library that is loaded by the main program. We'll need to make our changes and close the program at that point is may restart itself. Some programs do that under Windows. Ok, let's code!", instructs Mr. Nogami.

"I see you commented out the Chinook waking mechanism. So we'll just need to compile and close the Octarian AI program. Ok, that should do it... Oh, look it's restarting just like I thought!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"OH CARP! MR. NOGAMI WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?", screams Marie.

"I think you woke them up bro?", remarks Jeff.

"Wait did we compile the program?", asks Nogami.

"I didn't. I just restarted it!", remarks Jeff.

"Jeff, you are still a very young grasshopper. This mistake caused the Chinooks to reawaken during the AI restart.", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Mr. Nogami, I apologize! I want to work for Squid Research Lab. Please don't fire me!", cries Jeff.

"Mr. Nogami is angry but for now you'll shadow with me. Mr. Nogami is not sure if your yearly performance review will go well!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"This is not good. They going into formation meaning that they're going to charge us. They'll knock us off the ship for sure. We need to attack as quickly as possible! Mr. Nogami and Jeff can you hack the ship so you guys can control it. We need to get away from this calamity!", explains Marie.

"Jel, take this umbrella!", instructs Marie.

"Uh... Marie... are you ok?", asks Jel La Fleur.

"It's a weapon, Jel. Look, you can fire ink with it or open it to use it as a shield!", explains Marie.

"Damn! What will you young squids think of next?", exclaims Jel La Fleur.

"On my mark aim in the direction I'm pointing... ok... FIRE!!!", instructs Marie.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"Oh my gosh! They're huge!", remarks Jel La Fleur.

"Just keep firing. I think the others are coming in for another attack.", remarks Marie.

"Mayday! Mayday! Chinook down! Pull back and use the linear formation!", commands a Chinook.

 

[jeffthesquid]

Meanwhile, Jeff and Mr. Nogami are trying to program the mother ship's engines to take input from a lowly Nintendo Switch controller.

"Here, Jeff-san, we'll create an initializer for this Switch controller and we'll use it to fly the ship!", explains Mr. Nogami.

"That's sweet! Windows 95, being plug and play should make the task a cinch!", remarks Jeff.

"Yes, Jeff-san, I would like you to program the routine.", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Let's see. If I set the joystick to capture the Switch controller then we should have access to the game pad. A game pad is nothing more than a joystick.", explains Jeff.

"Yes, Jeff-san, you are wise. What will you do next?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"So now we need to create a message processor for the control pad and we'll need to process the stick part of the pad.", explains Jeff.

"Jeff, you are a genius! Now that you are finishing up the joystick processor please work on the buttons!", commands Mr. Nogami.

"What? What will we do with the buttons?", asks Jeff.

"We'll use the buttons to control the vacuum and use the Chinooks as missiles!", explains Mr. Nogami.

"That's... VERY AWESOME... give me a five Mr. Nogami!", exclaims Jeff.

"Yes! Keep coding!", exclaims Mr. Nogami.

"So, right now I'm responding to the button down message and we'll use the A button to inhale the vacuum and the B to exhale.", explains Jeff.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"Jeff-san, are you sure those buttons correspond to A and B?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Yeah, that's the order of the buttons on the Switch controller... I think.", explains Jeff.

 

[jeffthesquid]

"MR. NOGAMI! JEFF! WHAT THE CARP!", yells Marie.

"OH MY GOODNESS!", scream Jel La Fleur.

"Oops!", remarks Jeff.

"Oops? What did you do? Was it bad coding?", asks Mr. Nogami.

"Yeah, the buttons were reversed and also part of that Ding Dong that I was eating got stuck to the button. I think now it's unstuck.", answers Jeff.

"NO! NOW IT'S GOING IN REVERSE! HOW TERRIBLE!", screams Marie.

"Jeff-san! You must focus and clean those Ding Dongs off of the controller!", instructs Mr. Nogami.

"Phew! I'm glad you guys got everything in order!", remarks Marie.

"Yeah, I thought we were goners! I'm old but you youngsters have a lot of years ahead of you!", adds Jel La Fleur.

"Oh carp! They're coming back. Jeff, Mr. Nogami - please use the new weapon you programmed!", commands Marie.

"Mayday! Mayday! They're vacuuming us in!", yells a Chinook.

"So what do we do now, Jeff and Mr. Nogami?", asks Marie.

"Blast them out, Marie-san!", exclaims Mr. Nogami.

"OH, NOT AGAIN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING MR. NOGAMI!", screams Marie.

"I had no idea that we were gonna rocket up to the clouds. Man, this is awesome!", exclaims Jeff.

"Marie, maybe our nerd lings are trying to get us away from the Chinooks. Rocketing up here seems to be a good idea!", remarks Jel La Fleur.

"Yeah, you're right. And this is turning out to be even more exhilarating than our storming of the Alterna rocket!", exclaims Marie.

 

[jeffthesquid]

Just then the sky fills with Chinooks.

"Well, don't look too far because we're surrounded! They seems to be more around here. I don't think the ones we blasted out followed us up here. These ones probably came from somewhere else.", remarks Marie.

"Hey, little buddy, do you want some Ding Dongs?", asks Jeff to a Chinook.

"Shut up, fat head!", yells the Chinook.

"Mr. Nogami no like this. Mr. Nogami is not much of a fighter but he'll give you this...", remarks Mr. Nogami as he slaps a Chinook with his laptop.

"Mr. Nogami! I didn't know you could fight!", remarks Jeff.

"I can't but my laptop can. Why I busted up a guy in high school with a laptop one time for calling me a nerd. I might say I knocked some knowledge into him!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Well, it looks like you scared the rest of the Chinooks off. Wait - wasn't your laptop controlling the ship?", asks Marie.

"Oh! Bad Mr. Nogami! I think I disconnected it!", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Not only that but it lost power!", exclaims Jeff.

"So... that means we're going to crash land... WHY? OH WHY ME?", screams Marie.

 

[jeffthesquid]

The New Splatoon Is Born

The mother ship with Jeff, Marie, Mr. Nogami, and Jel La Fleur plummets until it crashes into Jeff's house.

"Well, what an entrance!", exclaims Marie.

"So this is your house, Jeff-san!", remarks Mr. Nogami.

"Oh, so this is your house. I was wondering how you lived. Did you build this, Jeff?", asks Marie.

"Yep, I found some scrap wood and other things that were thrown out from construction sites and built this.", remarks Jeff.

"It's nice but the only thing is why do you have a toilet and shower by your bed?", asks Marie.

"Well, got to stay clean and everyone needs to pee!", laughs Jeff.

"Well, I'd say you've got a really cozy place to live in.", remarks Jel La Fleur.

"Mr. Nogami proud of Jeff-san. He sure knows how to live - no rent, taxes, and free water!", adds Mr. Nogami.

"Free water?", inquires Marie.

"Yes, if you say when we landed Jeff is using hose connected to water fountain to supply water to his shower.", explains Mr. Nogami.

"Ok... but how does he wash his hands?", asks Marie.

"Oh, in the shower.", explains Jeff.

"Which means you probably don't wash your hands much - that's really gross...", remarks Marie.

"Anyone up for pizza?", asks Jeff.

"It has mushrooms growing out of it!", remarks Marie.

"Yeah, I grew them myself!", laughs Jeff.

"Eww, no!", remarks Marie.