Okay it's Splattercolor Screens No. 1 biggest hater here. Here is every reason why Splattercolor Screen is a horrific affront to humanity:
First things first, have you LOOKED at this things design. Not even like it's gameplay design, just what this thing looks like. Beginning with the canister itself, would you be able to tell what the scallop is going on there at first glance? It's supposed to be a bottle of bubble solution, but has the person who designed this canister ever in their life SEEN a bubble bottle? It's like a painting of baby Jesus from the 15th century; you can just tell that the monk who made it has never seen a baby before. The bottle itself with the industrial cap, is reminiscent of a protein shaker, with the strap on the side, the latch closing the lid and especially because the bubble wand inside of the bottle could easily be mistaken for the implement inside of a protein shaker to mix your workout shake.
Now, after reading all that and then looking back at the Splattercolor Screen canister, you might think you've got it all figured out and that the magenta piece in the middle of the lid is the handle for the bubble wand. WRONG. Look at these official blueprints for Splattercolor Screen:
LOOK AT THE SHAFT OF THE BUBBLE WAND AND LOOK AT THE SHAFT OF THE HANDLE. THEY DON'T LINE UP. What you might assume is a handle for the bubble wand is actually a joystick??? So add that to the list of design inspirations for Splattercolor Screen. Looking at the lid more closely, it SCREWS ON. SO WHY IS THERE A LATCH??? IS THE LATCH JUST THERE TO ATTACH THE PERIPHERAL STRAP??? YOU DON'T NEED THE STRAP. INKLINGS HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS THEY CAN HOLD CYLINDERS!!!
Continuing to look at these blueprints, there's just some sort of circuit board and a random button. It seems like you're supposed to use the joystick and the button to configure the liquid in some way. But the only thing actually touching the liquid is the bubble wand so how does a circuit board affect a bubble wand to affect the liquid and how are you supposed to use a joystick and ONE BUTTON to control this??? And as far as we know, Splattercolor Screen has ONE effect. Exploding and blinding enemies. Why couldn't this effect be automatically be applied to the liquid. Why does the user need to play Pac-Man to use their special weapon.
Also, pay attention to the warning sign on the blueprint right next to the graphic of the liquid affecting the enemies eyes. Yeah. That's a little bit cruel and ironic, isn't it.
Moving on from the canister to the screen itself. It seems like the screen keeps its shape by 2 bendy straws on either side, but they're really just stretched out bubble wands that LOOK like bendy straws. I don't have it in me to suspend my beliefs enough to think that a tiny bubble wand that could fit in your hand could extend THAT MUCH to fit a GIANT SCREEN.
Talking about the screen itself, the pattern on the screen is marbled paper. Made from oil paints. Not bubble solution. Somehow touching marbled paper created by a knock-off raspberry pi controlling a bubble wand mixing bubble solution, makes you see the world in greyscale and makes you hear tv static. Excellent.
And moving onto the name. "Splattercolor Screen". Apparently it's a pun on watercolors? Paper marbling doesn't use watercolors. It uses water and colors, believe it or not, but not watercolors. I've gone on record saying I'd burn down the house of the localisers who named Big Swig Roller and Heavy Edit Splatling. But Splattercolor Screen is actually the worst name in all of Splatoon.
Like can WE STOP USING THE WORD SPLAT AS A PUN. FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY. STOP. We have Splattershot, Splattershot Jr. Splattershot Pro, Splattershot Nova, Splat Bombs, Splatlings, Splat Brella, Splatanas, Splattercolor Screen. WE GET IT. THE GAMES CALLED SPLATOON. I CAN'T WAIT TO BOOT UP OVERWATCH 2 AND PLAY MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER OVERWATCH AND FIGHT PEOPLE WITH MY OVERWATCH SHOOTER AND MY OVERWATCH BOMB. DON'T YOU GET SO EXCITED WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING FORNITE AND OPEN A CHEST AND GET THE FORTNITE BAZOOKA? CONGRATULATIONS. WE'VE SOLVED LOCALISATION. GO HOME.
THE JAPANESE VERSIONS OF THESE NAMES DON'T OVERUSE THE WORD SPLAT. BECAUSE SPLAT IS AN IN-GAME BRAND THAT PRODUCES WEAPONS. SPLATLINGS, THE SPLAT BRELLA AND SPLATANAS AREN'T PRODUCED BY SPLAT IN-GAME, BUT THE ENGLISH LOCALISERS NAMED THEM THIS WAY ANYWAYS.
I can excuse Splatlings and Splatanas because those are admittedly clever puns. And don't get me wrong, Splat Brella is kind of a catchy name. (Regardless, when I am reborn in Tarterus I will find the person who named the Splat Brella and strap them to a stalactite) But Splattercolor Screen. If you pronounce Splatter and Water the same way, I will turn you into a jellyfish and you will experience the endless suffering of eternal life. It's inexcusable. The hodgepodge of design inspirations for this special weapon. Bubble wands, protein shakers, circuit boards, retro controllers, paper marbling, colour blindness, tv static. And then the pun is based off of watercolors. WATER. COLORS.
For context for how ridiculous all of this is. Look at how concise and perfect the aesthetic design of Reefslider is. It's an inflatable pool toy (a shark), kept on a track made of buoy barriers, launched by soda bottles, and references the Akira Slide. The name Reefslider comes from the place where sharks live and also references the Akira Slide. A couple of closely knit inspirations that mesh together well and 1 outlandish reference that fits the whacky nature of Splatoon but manages to keep the specials design cohesive. Maybe these devs could take notes from the specials they designed a year prior to Splattercolor Screen, as ridiculous as this sentence sounds.
Lets move on to the gameplay design of Splattercolor Screen.
Smokescreens don't work for Splatoon. They could, but they don't. Not with these maps. What a lot of people don't seem to realise is that map design is one of the most important things for a game like Splatoon. There are quite a few weapons in Splatoon that are garbage or overpowered because of the map design and only the map design.
In other competitive shooters with smokescreens, there are quite a few features that their maps have that Splatoon doesn't, that makes smokescreens work. They have many routes through the middle of the map and they have many side routes. They have enclosed rooms in conjunction with open areas. Every choke point has at least 3+ entrances. I'm not an expert on these other shooters, but I've played them enough to see that the maps are what make smokescreens viable and makes them feel balanced and fun to play into.
Hey you know what shooter has a similar map design philosophy to Splatoon? Overwatch. Does Overwatch have smokescreens? No. I wonder if that means something.
The kicker is that the devs already know smokescreens suck for Splatoon. Between Splatoon 2 and 3, they adjusted Ink Storms and Toxic Mist to make it easier to see through them. Ink Storm and Toxic Mist already weren't completely opaque, and they were adjusted. SO WHY DID THEY COMPLETELY JUST RIP OFF THE BAND-AID AND ADD A GIANT SMOKESCREEN TO THE GAME?
One game of playing with Splattercolor Screen tells you all you need to know that the smokescreen just doesn't work. That there aren't good positions to use it in. That it either just makes everyone back off and stalls the match or 1 side ignores it and just walks through it. That it's so easy to use it in in an uncoordinated way to give your team the disadvantage. We know they play tested this special. There's gameplay in the trailer that revealed it. HOW DID IT MAKE IT INTO THE FINAL GAME.
Lets move onto the debuffs Splattercolor Screen gives you. I'm not gonna talk about how it effects disabled people. I know. I have Retinitis Pigmentosa, the greyscale effect causes eye pain and headaches for me. But the discussion about disabled people has been going on for 2 months. If you're actually reading this post, you already know the deal.
There's 2 types of debuffs in a video game. One effects the gameplay, one effects the player. Debuffs that effect the player are flat out UNCOMPETITIVE. This isn't up for debate.
What makes a mechanic uncompetitive?
- It removes skill expression from the game. In any situation in a competitive game, the more skilled player should perform better. With something like Triple Splashdown, it's uncompetitive because it's binary, there's one way to use it. There's one way to deal with it. You put an S rank player and a 3000xp X rank player in the same exact situation and they'll do the exact same thing. If you're using it, you just press the button when someone's in your 1-shot range. If it's being used on you, you run away if you're in the one-shot range, and if you have time to do both, you can point upwards and kill them.
Splattercolor Screen removes skill for a different reason. You can't control how your body manages seeing the game in greyscale and hearing tv static. Removing audio processing disorders and light sensitivity from the equation, there's still a discrepancy here. The effect doesn't inhibit everyone equally and there isn't an easy or fast way of practising to get over it. If you're lucky and not inhibited by these effects, congratulations, you now have an advantage against more skilled players who ARE inhibited by these effects for free. If you are inhibited, you might have a way of getting over it, you might not, and you'll lose in situations you would've otherwise easily won because you got unlucky with the circumstances of your birth. You might be able to practice and get better at fighting through these effects, but even if that works and even if you aren't disabled, practicing this sort of thing for so long will be a strain on your eyes and ears.
- It's just not fun. Competitive games require an element of fun to be competitive. You need to want to strive to improve. You need to enjoy the game. You need to not get bored when playing the game. It needs to not be a chore. At least with Splashdown, getting a kill with it is satisfying, and on the other end, killing someone in the middle of their Splashdown is exhilarating. For Splattercolor Screen, does anyone actually enjoy getting their senses stripped away from them? If you miss the sound of a bomb and die because of the static sound, no one thinks "aw GG, they got me." No one hands it to the enemy team when they lose because of Splattercolor Screens effects. It feels cheap when you lose to it, akin to someone screen peeking or abusing a glitch.
- It limits choices. There is no or limited counterplay. Like with Kraken Cheese. There's 1 thing that stops Kraken Cheese when it gets going and that's killing the super jumpers on frame 1 with Triple Inkstrikes. You don't have Triple Inkstrikes? Well then you better hope that there's a huge skill gap between your team and the enemy team so that you can lock them out of mid, because if they get the opportunity to score then they're going to get a massive amount of points with no counterplay. With Splattercolor Screen, is there even any counterplay? It's just a thing that happens. It's like asking if there's counterplay to the spinners on Museum d'Alfonsino. You're either inhibited by the effects or you're not. If you want to play the game and not stall for 10 seconds, you're forced to just take it.
You wouldn't toy with the idea of a debuff that flips the screen upside down or inverts your controls. Yet somehow a greyscale effect gets a pass, despite suffering from the same exact problems, just slightly more bearable. These are all debuffs that effect the player and not the game, and they SUCK. And to the people in this thread suggesting something similar to the blooper from Mario Kart. I see you, and I will duel you for my honor.
There are so many ideas for debuffs that don't involve the player that Splatoon doesn't have. What if there was an effect that temporarily disabled your sub and special weapons? What if there was an effect that gave you increased run and swim speed when moving towards a target inhibited by it? What if there was an effect that temporarily puts the ground in stasis, preventing both teams from painting over ink? There is an endless waterfall of creativity that comes with a game like Splatoon and they choose a greyscale effect. Abhorrent.
It's honestly absurd how Splattercolor Screen got into the final game. Surely after testing it you'd realise it's hot garbage. In the studio of any other game developer that makes competitive shooters, this idea wouldn't make it past the first round of play-testing. In a perfect world, no one would even THINK about Splattercolor Screen, and it would only appear in our nightmares. Maybe this entire universe IS a nightmare. Maybe when I hit send on this post, I'll finally be granted the sweet release of death. My world will crumble, time nor space will remain, and Hishashi Nogami will wake up in a cold sweat in his bed at 2 AM, crying tears of joy that he lives in a world where Splatoon 3 doesn't have Splattercolor Screen.
On another note. Why couldn't Bubble Blower come back? Splattercolor Screen is clearly a vague iteration on Bubble Blower. Wasn't Bubble Blower almost universally beloved? Maybe it couldn't have been a simple rework like Inkzooka to Trizooka. Maybe they didn't want to iterate on the special like they did for Kraken to Kraken Royale. But not even an evolution of the special that only keeps the bones of the design, like Bubbler to Big Bubbler?
If you're going to make Splattercolor Screen so different anyways, why keep any indication that it's related to Bubble Blower. Why taunt us. Why make us yearn for a better world.
I don't get it. Sure, the Splat Bomb + Bubble Blower combo was broken. OH NO. A SPECIAL THAT DETONATES AND KILLS YOU IN UNDER A SECOND. WOULDN'T IT BE CRAZY IF IN SPLATOON 3, THERE WAS A SPECIAL WEAPON THAT COULD ALSO KILL YOU IN UNDER A SECOND, BUT WITH FAR MORE RANGE THAN THE BUBBLE BLOWER, WITHOUT THE NEED FOR BEING PAIRED WITH A SPECIFIC SUB WEAPON?
Even in that case, there are other broken combos possible in Splatoon 3. .52 Gal with Burst Bomb. .96 Gal with Burst Bomb. Splat Roller with Burst Bomb. A lot of things that deal 50+ damage very fast + Burst Bomb. Jet Squelcher + Tenta Missiles. Hell, Torpedo + Tenta Missiles is definitely broken, but they gave it to the Goo Tuber and it's still hot garbage. Just give Splat Bomb + Bubble Blower to the Undercover Brella. Like, just because a ridiculous combo exists doesn't mean it needs to happen. Like great, pack it up guys. Splash Wall + Zipcaster is a hot garbage combination, I guess we have to delete Zipcaster now. Congratulations you've solved game design. No more need for video games I guess.
Oh well. I hope Splattercolor Screen ends up like Stingray, never getting put on more weapons and being absent from the next installment of the game. Hopefully they've learnt their lesson. On a positive note, the recent buffs to Wave Breaker and Ink Storm are really promising because it shows that they're thinking about special weapons in a different way and it makes me hopeful for the state of special weapons at the end of Splatoon 3's lifespan and the beginning of Splatoon 4. If you're reading this last paragraph, why the shell did you read all of this. And if you didn't read of all this, why did you skim through my post and only look at the last paragraph. I hate you.