Should I parody a **** post?

[Heart of Ice]

So, I dunno if you guys remember this gem that was posted a while back

https://squidboards.com/threads/a-rank-tips-the-how-to.4076/#post-64155

But I always thought this post was hilariously misguided and I wondered "How did this person even make it to A+ rank?"

I managed to get into A+ rank and I tossed around the idea of making my own version of this thread when I reached A+ rank well before now.

Of course I'm gonna fill it full of bogus advice like an "excuse section" for when you lose, in addition to encouraging bad play, I'd probably call it "A+ dank tips, how 2 git gud". What do you guys think? Yay? Nay?

So many conflicting votes! What to do? What to do?

 

[Heart of Ice]

Okay, so I managed to make it into S rank. I'm wondering if I should change the name?

 

[Green Waffles]

Name it S+ tips, but include a line somewhere in the beginning that you haven't made it to S+ yet ;P

 

[Anaru]

I love sarcastic posts. It doesn't seem like the thread you linked to was sarcasm, however, it was still an amazing read. I find that sarcastic posts work well if you use perfect grammar, as it's ironic since you're speaking of nonsensical subjects, so I'd recommend naming it something normal; it'll surprise the people reading it and make them debate with themselves whether or not it's a joke or you're just incredibly dumb. Include some silly advice that's actually sort of logical but is very situational such as a lengthy section full of "shortcuts" that save at most a tenth of a second and explain their long-term importance (After 100 games, they'll have saved you about a minute of traveling time! And use math to somehow prove whatever claim you make). Perhaps make some foolish and elongated analogies. I'll definitely make sarcastic comments on your thread once it's posted.

 

[Heart of Ice]

Okay, so I thought of an idea for the excuse section heading. You see there's a stage info conversation for Walleye Warehouse that goes something like this, Callie: 'Ugh, my team is terrible on this map' Marie: 'Yes, "your team" is terrible on this map.' Problem is I CAN'T FIND A SCREENSHOT OF THIS ANYWHERE!!! I'd really appreciate it if somebody could send me a picture of this, or if you have a good capture card, take the picture yourself.

 

[Anaru]

 

[Heart of Ice]

View attachment 4570

Thanks, I'll be sure to credit you for this.

 

[Elecmaw]

Dude, I'd say give it a shot. I'd absolutely love the idea of trying out a ****post guide, but hey i'm no longer playing this game.

Here's a few suggestions of mine, if you want to hear 'em:
- Don't go immediately for the low-hanging fruit. Aeromemer RG is a easy target and i think nobody really wants to defend it, but it's kind of too obvious that you're joking. Refurbished Splatling sounds kinda funny and is a flawed weapon on it's own so you can use that, but hey pick whatever you think is best.
- If you post screenshots, try to squirm in details that directly contradict what you're saying. Again, don't make it too obvious. Like, say that you're an expert with the Rapid Pro but the screenshots show you blatantly missing targets or trying to shoot at a Kraken, or maybe even better show you holding a regular Rapid which keen viewers will quickly pick up on.
- **** grammar is also valued, but with these parodies people usually go overboard with it. Just a little bit is enough, a small grammar mistake here and there gives it that authentic ****post experience rather than a incoherent mess of grammar. Impromptu rants are also good stuff.
-There are some obvious examples that will work, ex. blaming your team for not protecting you when you SJ directly in combat, call chargers cheap, tell people you're really S+ rank while being in A-.
-Probably the thing that would send me the most into giggle fits, try thinking up completely insane and faulty strategies and techniques that absolutely nobody in their right mind would use. Here's a good example!

 

[ThatOneGuy]

I'd say go for it, because why not?

Refurbished Splatling sounds kinda funny and is a flawed weapon on it's own so you can use that, but hey pick whatever you think is best.

Cover the custom splattershot jr., it's a complete joke of a weapon anyway. Also be sure to include pointless ink mine techs, because ink mines are the worst sub-weapon in the game. Mention that you'd get to S+, if they gave you points in squad battles.

There are some obvious examples that will work, ex. blaming your team for not protecting you when you SJ directly in combat, call chargers cheap, tell people you're really S+ rank while being in A-.

Btw, always say that the dynamo, luna, and carbon roller are waaaaaayyyyyy too OP, and they should be removed from the game because they're too good. And if they ask why the carbon is OP, say "Nobody can react to this, it's so fast and it splats in one hit, It's way too Overpowered." Either that or blame all of your losses to these "cheap" and "broken" weapons.

And when you introduce yourself, say that you're extremely experienced in turf war, and you've honed your skills there. Then say, the Aeromeme RG is the best weapon because it turfs fast and gets a lot of kills.

The worst part about this is, I've heard people actually complain to this degree about the game. And yes, they were B- scrubs.