Global Testfire Redux!

[Xehias]

Oh this is sooo rich. Thanks for the update! Ahhh, the good ol' days when the enemy has no idea what the h@!! they are doing. I do miss that... Thanks for not offing the noobs in high volumes. ;)

Anytime. :p I just remembered something else from these matches. On Saltspray Rig, a Roller was standing on the vantage point overlooking the entrance to the top area. They stayed in one spot, throwing Suction Bombs over and over. Eventually, I climbed onto the pipes at the center of the entrance to the top area to make myself visible, and they started tossing Suction Bombs directly at me. Of course, I got out of the way of them every time. I tried throwing Suction Bombs at their perch as well. They too got out of the way, only to come back right after, continuing to toss bombs. You certainly can’t blame them for not remembering to use their sub weapon.

 

[Cuttleshock]

Needless to say, I was laughing pretty hard at a couple of these. I dunno if the Testfire is still on, but I encourage you to check it out if you can. It’s pretty fun to see how far people have come since Splatoon’s beginnings.

I... wow... that is so much fun! Apart from your stories being hilarious, it's great to be reminded of what an enjoyable game this can be (although I dunno if the new players felt quite the same way as much as they were very confused).

I don’t get what you mean by using a mirror. Did you just reflect the TV screen into it and play while looking at it to add some extra challenge?

Precisely! The reason it works so well, I think, is that unlike, say, a Zelda game, in which you'd merely have to get used to moving the opposite direction, there are three degrees of reflection. Your left thumb has to move inversely. Your right thumb has to change the camera the wrong way round. And, most confusingly of all, you have to move your arms the other way round (assuming you play with motion controls)! Muscle memory can be a blessing and a curse.

 

[Xehias]

I... wow... that is so much fun! Apart from your stories being hilarious, it's great to be reminded of what an enjoyable game this can be (although I dunno if the new players felt quite the same way as much as they were very confused).

They seemed pretty confused to me even without my interventions, haha :p I just hope the newbies don’t get discouraged by the amount of people who didn’t play fair in the Testfire.

Precisely! The reason it works so well, I think, is that unlike, say, a Zelda game, in which you'd merely have to get used to moving the opposite direction, there are three degrees of reflection. Your left thumb has to move inversely. Your right thumb has to change the camera the wrong way round. And, most confusingly of all, you have to move your arms the other way round (assuming you play with motion controls)! Muscle memory can be a blessing and a curse.

That sounds absolutely horrible. And it must have looked pretty funny to players who weren’t aware of what you were up to! ;)

 

[Slushious]

I wish I could jump in and play, but this whole thing is during my work nights and we're low on data since it's the end of the month. It'd be great to be a noob-tutor again...I kinda miss those days. Hopefully the potential new players aren't run off by the randos out there picking on them =/

 

[Ansible]

Another video of an octoling in the test fire. Again with the squid science research outfit and sashimono, but this time using the gold dynamo. I don't think this is the same person that showed up in Swimmingbird's video, but I've got no way to tell.

 

[Maave]

The testfire was really fun. I only got to play once because I was busy all week. It was pretty funny just running around with nobody hitting me. I only had a spawncamper on my team once. Attempted campers on the other team were destroyed.

Saltspray Rig was the best because it was big and varied. I would stand on the moving crane grate for much of the game and take pot shots at passers by. I mostly played rollers so that I could run people over, haven't done that in forever. I forgot to take advantage of pre-patch weapons though.

some funny stuff
-dodging enemy Splattershot fire at close range, not attacking him at all
-watching somebody run directly into my suction bomb
-getting a Splattershot double kill on enemy campers
-rolling over 3 people in a row, last one being a kamikaze roller

I hope they do this again, I wanna mess around at low levels again.

 

[Cuttleshock]

-watching somebody run directly into my suction bomb

Oh, you don't need a Testfire for that. I'll do that any day.

 

[Slushious]

Hopefully we get some new players out of this, I kinda miss being a noob wrangler :'D

 

[Xehias]

-rolling over 3 people in a row, last one being a kamikaze roller

I can still do that pretty often in S rank Port Mackerel Rainmaker :p You never know what you’re going to get around the next corner, and they never see it coming.

I headed back into the Testfire yesterday and I have some more stories to tell!

• Saw someone in squid form moving on the (uninked) ground, so I approached them in squid form as well and started spamming ZL, thinking they were trying to start a party. But they were a Charger and they tried to splat me with uncharged shots. That was disappointing.
• An ally Charger was at the top of the mid boxes in Walleye. The enemy Charger came up behind them and splatted them with uncharged shots.
• A Splattershot Jr. was carefully inking every side of the center boxes in Walleye.
• While they were doing that, the two other people on my team—who had obviously played the game before, and probably were on the same squad because they had a similar tag in their names—ended up spawncamping the enemy team (who had had two disconnects on top of everything). I did nothing all match but it wasn’t enough. They did it again on the next match. I was really angry at that point, and stayed in the lobby to try and get in the other team so I could splat them. On the next match, only one of the two was on the enemy team, so I went all out on them, ignoring everyone else. I splatted them at least four times, taunting copiously. On the next match, the two spawncampers had left the lobby. I take credit for that. ;) I hope they couldn’t get together on the same lobby again after that.
• A Charger was standing on their spawn platform in Rig, shooting uncharged shots for a good 30 seconds after the match started. I approached to see what they were up to, and they had gone down on the lower area, continuing to use uncharged shots. They were just standing there at some point, so I walked up to them. They stayed like this for a little while before starting to shoot me with uncharged shots. I hid right next to them, but then a teammate decided to Super Jump to me. I continued to hide until my teammate arrived, at which point they simply squished the Charger and moved on.
• Speaking of Super Jumping, nobody ever camped Super Jump icons. They just walked right past them.
• At the beginning of a Saltspray Rig match, I inked the right path with my Roller. My Splattershot Jr. teammate followed in my trail before landing beside me. They waited a little while, then started to carefully shoot at the ground, covering absolutely everything. I left them to it and came up to mid. There, I spotted an enemy Splattershot shooting at the ground as well. They went in squid form in their ink to refill. I decided to roll right by them without squishing them, moving slowly and carefully. I stopped and hid in my own ink on the square bit (where the pipes come up to), while they were in the entrance to the square platform leading to the very top of the Rig. The Splattershot emerged from their ink in the "about to throw a sub" animation/pose, and they stayed like this for an agonizingly long time before finally throwing a single Burst Bomb at me. They then went back into squid form, staying at the same spot.
• Later on in the same match, I came up to mid with the Splattershot Jr. in tow. Again, the same Splattershot was there, shooting the ground. My teammate started shooting at the Splattershot, who hadn’t noticed them, and they had them cornered. But somehow the opponent managed to escape by swimming up the pipes. The Jr. gave up the chase and resumed shooting at the ground while the Splattershot started spreading ink slightly more competently on their side, the two ignoring each other completely.
• Watched a Roller teammate roll toward the enemy base in Walleye, followed very closely by an enemy roller. My ally eventually hit the wall next to the tarp and was promptly squished.
• An enemy Roller approached my ally Roller who had a Killer Wail pulled out. They rolled around the Wail and behind my ally, but my ally managed to move forward in their Wail just in time. The opponent followed them into the Wail’s radius, with the result you would expect.
• Saw a Splattershot who seemed to only tap the ZR button for a little while before getting the hang of it. I wonder if they’d like the Nozzlenoses.
• A Roller had run out of ink and stayed still for a while, standing on enemy ink, out in the open and incredibly vulnerable. They eventually pulled out their Killer Wail and set it off before finally starting to move again. All that time, nobody even tried to attack them.
• A Jr. kept aiming at the ground, except when said ground was already of their own color, in which case they’d aim in front of them. (Which was just as useless, of course.)
• A Splat Charger tried to splat me, but was outside of their range. They approached and ended up getting me in midair as I was jumping back and forth between crates.
• I saw two opposing Rollers rolling around in circles, pursuing each other, before one finally squished the other. They had had a similar encounter before, but it doesn’t count because it was laggy and weird. :p
• I saw a Charger go to hide behind some crates, and I approached peacefully. They charged a shot and aimed at me, so I danced around them to dodge. A teammate Super Jumped to me and ended up splatting the Charger.

Hah, I forgot to mention that Chargers also haven’t been patched in the Testfire. Which means uncharged shots have kept their longer range. Alas, it’s not very useful since you can’t change your gear. Wondering if I should head back in there earlier in the evening to try to find hackers and get some more funny stories.

 

[Green Waffles]

Oh, you don't need a Testfire for that. I'll do that any day.

PAH! Common.

I am more refined squid than this.

I eat only the finest french killer wails, served with Italian super jump oil, and just a pinch of salt.
Or, ya know, I'll walk into any ol' wail if I'm hungry enough...

 

[Cuttleshock]

PAH! Common.

I am more refined squid than this.

I eat only the finest french killer wails, served with Italian super jump oil, and just a pinch of salt.
Or, ya know, I'll walk into any ol' wail if I'm hungry enough...

One of my best tricks is outmanoeuvring and beating a .52 and then swimming into their depleted Wall and exploding.

 

[Ansible]

One of my best tricks is outmanoeuvring and beating a .52 and then swimming into their depleted Wall and exploding.

Even better, being a bamboozler that's out manoeuvered by a .52 who decides to leave you alone in the enemy ink corner to instead wage a losing battle with your splash wall...

LOL WUT... no, really... whut?!

 

[Ansible]

Recently came across some actual below level 20s in some of my recent Turf War matches. Be interesting to hear from them.

In the meantime here's a vid of a player sharing their amusing testfire experiences: