Y'know what I just realized? Swords are actually awful, the Splatana Stamper is completely unviable and Wiper is for lame-os. They're also not fun or "peak game design" like I used to say.
I'm dropping both of these today to become a Custom Goo Tuber solo main. I think this weapon has potential and all of the naysayers are just wrong and stupid and dumb. Have a nice day!