The worst map...EVER!!!

[Swiss_Squid]

sorry i had to split this up into two posts. i will now be ranting about why kelp dome is the worst map in splatoon and why it can rank up there in worst designed and implemented maps in shooter history. The salt is coming in 3, 2, 1. Okay so for one thing i cannot play on kelp dome in any mode and here is why. Kelp dome was clearly designed for ranked modes rather than turf war. The grated walkways throughout the map, ramps, horribly placed corridors, and the god awful protrusion in the middle of the map can all aim for some ultimately unfair and rage-inducing woomies from all of us. Turf war is horribly imperfect in turf war. but you don't really play turf war most of the time really. It's rigged, you can't tie, and weapons will do better than other weapons. But that's not even getting to the main point. RANKED MODES. SON OF GOD AND CALL ME JESUS FROM BETHLELEM DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT IN KP. I have had extremely negative and not fair experience in all if not most variations of each ranked mode in kelp dome. Firstly let's start with SZ. Splatzones is designed around the middle of the map and that would be okay but you know what's in the middle of the map? The center fire hydrant that blocks skilled players and only rewards the manipulative ones that's who. and i have heard from other people that the giant dong of a center building doesn't even count towards the overall percent of the actual splat zone. it only gets in the way of the objective at hand. this is the only variation of splatzones that does this. where something is blocking the splat zones besides some other maps which i don't wanna name right now because this rant is already long enough. i understand in some maps there are objects and pillars blocking parts of the splat zone/zones but not as much as the obstructiveness of kelp dome. it impedes SZ so freaking much it makes me rage quit sometimes. the routes where people can come from don't really help either. this will be a common complaint forthcoming. the routes and availability in kelp dome annoys the ever living hell out of me. idk if anybody else has had the same issues but i just hate that as well. moving on to rainmaker and tower control. now i am conglomerating these because tower control is not the worst variation in kelp dome by a very small margin. splat zones is obviously the worst. so i will be talking about them both. so rainmaker is also something that will easily "trigger" me if i am not being careful or my teammates are not being careful. this is when the routes such as the ramps, grates, and the turn leading directly to the pedestal if nobody is guarding it. the fact the rainmaker is on the center thing and all the grates are there for your choosing exemplifies the fact that it is making the objective one-sided and not very fair for play. it makes it too easy and doesn't reward skill. finally we get to tower control. now the center thing doesn't have a whole lot of influence on this mode it's mainly the grate manipulation, the linearity of the tower route, and again the placement of the center protrusion. The center protrusion needs to be removed in all modes. it needs to be replaced with either something else better or need to removed entirely.

 

[Swiss_Squid]

Kelp dome has had some of my quickest matches in all of splatoon. there is a reason for that. but hey I'm just a splatoon nerd that loves the strategy, mechanics, and community associated around the game. I think it's a great shooter that does a lot of things right and wrong. I just hope they implement some shooter basics in the forthcoming sequel. that was just something i needed to vent. hopefully you guys can add to this! I think it needs to be discussed and spread around so it is more of a widely issued debate. which maps do you think are good? are some maps better than other? why are certain maps bad? that's the stuff i like to encourage i guess.

 

[Swiss_Squid]

You know what? moray towers splat zones is awful too. too far away from each other like port mackerel and it is unplayable in solo queue. i hate it so much.

 

[Captain Woomy]

My least favorite is Flounder Heights. I don't even know how I made it work for the fancy party vs. costume party splatfest. At first I didn't know why I disliked it, then I realized it's the only map where the center is raised. (I'm talking about a huge raised center, not like the small tower at Blackbelly Skatepark.) With all the inkable walls making it easier to catch squids by surprise on their side, having a raised center like that drives me crazy. I like being able to see where my opponents are coming from before we all make it to the center at the beginning of a match. I also find myself getting flanked on this stage the most... Please tell me I'm not the only one who has problems with squids flanking on Flounder Heights.

 

[Pteropine]

I personally hate...
Turf: Arowana
TC: Camp and Salt spray (when it was in rotation)
SZ: Port Mackerel and Moray
RM: Moray, Camp and Port

 

[calamaro]

any map that can not be used for all of the ranked modes is the suck in the book.

 

[birdiebee]

any map that can not be used for all of the ranked modes is the suck in the book.

I will never not be salty about this. I don't think there's any excuse for devs completely taking maps out of rotation due to design incompatibility. When maps have variances between modes, and Urchin can be totally overhauled, there should have been map patches for Blackbelly RM, Port TC, Piranha RM, Saltspray TC and RM, and whatever else never shows up anymore. That is way too much limitation for otherwise (mostly) good maps. And fixes don't seem like rocket science to accomplish.

Anyway, Saltspray is the worst because 2 out of 3 of its modes will never show up due to its design. And zones barely makes the cut as it suffers from uniquely crippling balance issues itself. The whole stage just feels like a relic from the game's early development that isn't suitable for the competitive meta in its current form.

 

[NateWynter]

SO AGREE!!!

 

[Shorrin]

When it comes to turf wars, I absolutely hate Piranha Pit, but Museum D'alfonsino is a close second. I always get Piranha Pit a thousand times everytime it's in the rotation, and each time I despise it more and more. As for Museum D'alfonsino, I find it confusing and dizzying. I can never find my way across the map, and no matter how many times I recon, I just can't get a feel for the map. For ranked, I hate Camp Triggerfish, especially for Splat Zones. There's so much risk and little reward when you venture to the other teams side to try and ink their zone.
Sorry for rambling, I just like to give reason to my answers.

 

[birdiebee]

For ranked, I hate Camp Triggerfish, especially for Splat Zones. There's so much risk and little reward when you venture to the other teams side to try and ink their zone.

I think Triggerfish is cool and unique. I usually go to the enemy zone via the right route from the beginning. If you control the elbow on their right side next to their zone, it creates a very obnoxious task for them because its very easy to lock down the area, especially with one other team member there for support.

 

[Shorrin]

I think Triggerfish is cool and unique. I usually go to the enemy zone via the right route from the beginning. If you control the elbow on their right side next to their zone, it creates a very obnoxious task for them because its very easy to lock down the area, especially with one other team member there for support.

That's a very good strategy, but I just don't really like to be out in the open. If I'm thinking of the right spot, that would make me a very easy target for chargers

 

[DynamoCamostar34]

I really don't like the construction bridge stage.

 

[ree-ris]

mahi mahi allways gives me hell with splat zones
but so far i can't say there's a map i really hate

 

[AidanC97]

Mahi Mahi for the sporadic water sections that you constantly fall through by accident, I still miss-time my jumps and i'll land in the (expletive) water anyway! That's for every mode, Including Turf Wars.

For Ranked. Please remind me to never go into Tower Control in Moray Towers. That is a pain in the ***, and i always get bumped off the second i get on it to try to defend it! Even Though Port Mackarel is a good map i don't like it for the above mentioned mode. I like it for all other modes, but no Tower Control

Really, i just dislike Tower Control Period

 

[Ulk]

Flounder Heights by absolute far. In every single mode. Not just because it's in my opinion an awfully ugly stage and doesn't fit to Splatoon's colorful theme at all, but the build is just terrible too.There is literally nothing I like about it.

 

[Slushious]

I will go to my grave hating Hammerhead and Blackbelly with all the passion in my small black charcoal lump of a heart.

 

[Splatoon_Lover]

I can't stand Hammerhead at all. Firstly, i understand certain specials will be better in some stages but this is the only one that completely disregards the Kraken (Kelp at least allows for shooting straight after but Hammerhead has those platforms that can easily shield shot). Secondly, in SZ i have almost never had a normal match due to how large the zone is.

 

[Kowai Yume]

Bluefin Depot hands down. At the mid-fight teams are forced to commit to a split and battle in a 2v2 senario. If one side fails, that gives the other team most of the map right then and there. There is also 3/4 routes for pushing, all of them requires climbing walls. This means the other team has a height advantage and brings the map to a stalemate. Splat Zones is even worse. The main battlements is too narrow for players to move around. You basically have to commit a lot more than you have to than in other maps.

 

[Dual]

Flounder Heights by absolute far. In every single mode. Not just because it's in my opinion an awfully ugly stage and doesn't fit to Splatoon's colorful theme at all, but the build is just terrible too.There is literally nothing I like about it.

Same. I just never feel safe, and it's too small. TC and Rainmaker are awful on the map (even though Blackbelly has a shorter distance in rainmaker) and Splatzone aren't much better. I may love Moray but at least it's the most fun for me with no snipers.

 

[Mystrite]

Arowana is just ew.
Arowana SZ is the worst.
I used to like arowana.
But now I don't.
Every other map is OK or good or great.
But not arowana.