Hokuto's squidposts

[Hokuto]

I've been sitting on this abomination for a little while. Technically, this is for a forum game I ran that happened to feature an AU version of my Agent 8 and the character who inspired my Agent 3. Somehow, even though it should be a feat at this point, I managed to thoroughly out-stupid myself with that story. (It's not a Splatoon story, so I don't know if I can tell it here.) As funny as it was, I hope I never have to do it again.

 

[Hokuto]

I started some digital sketches last night, but didn't feel compelled to complete them, so instead take these directly from my sketchbook. Unfortunately, my thoughts so far are 1. either boring or utterly deranged and 2. slapped together from all kinds of other sources to the point where I can only identify where about half of them came from. I know I stole the beaks on the faces from someone who drew a bunch of anthro cephalopods just for fun (the bird influences/inspiration was so fun to look at) and I reached the same five digit squid/four digit octopus conclusion as someone else. Anyway, really tame speculative xenobiology.

While I couldn't be bothered to rearrange their organs, I do have headcanons about what the Inkfish look like from the inside:

• Three hearts. In IRL cephalopods, two of the three hearts work directly in conjunction with the gills while the last one pumps blood through the rest of the body. I imagine in the Inkfish that those two hearts still support whatever respiratory system they have, but like humans (and many other species), evolution takes time. Their respiratory systems aren't particularly efficient, and if even one of those two hearts goes down, the other can't pick up the slack.
• Do they bleed red or blue? Blue is more efficient in the environments IRL cephalopods tend to occupy, but at their size and in their location the Inkfish would probably be better off with red blood. (Their complexions also support the red blood idea.)
• If that one Sunken Scroll in Octo Canyon is to be believed, the ink sac on an Inkfish is much closer to the mouth end of the digestive system than in IRL squids and octopuses. Best case scenario, they have a Canada Moist Talkers kind of situation when spewing ink. Worst case... yuck.
  • True fact: ink is mostly pigment, with a little bit of mucus to get it out of the animal.
• To my mild disappointment (and the complete apathy of others), the Inkfish probably wouldn't have ghost shark tooth plates because many mollusks have radulae (like a tongue with a whole bunch of teeth on it).
• Definitely don't ask me about cephalopod cannibalism.
• My highly unpopular opinion is that it would have been really funny if the Woomy vs Veemo debate had tangible effects on gameplay. Squids, with their jet propulsion and tailfins, tend to be better with fast-paced swimming the way the Splatoon devs intended. Octopuses tend to crawl around slowly and carefully, but they have higher dexterity and more adaptations for camouflage.
• Paralarvae are weirder than the canon growth chart. If Smollusk exists, I choose to believe paralarval Inkfish kids can too.
  • Don't ask where they come from. I learned more than I would like to know during my research.

 

[sevenleaf]

• Do they bleed red or blue? Blue is more efficient in the environments IRL cephalopods tend to occupy, but at their size and in their location the Inkfish would probably be better off with red blood. (Their complexions also support the red blood idea.)

apparently a species evolving from using hemocyanin to using hemoglobin has (likely) happened before!! this guy. though the wikipedia article itself kinda just goes "yeah these guys have red blood and not blue," the third reference discusses how ramshorn snails likely evolved from having originally had blue blood. to quote the abstract & part of the results:

We also detected expression of an incomplete hemocyanin as trace component. The combined data show that B. glabrata hemoglobin evolved from pulmonate myoglobin, possibly to replace a less-efficient hemocyanin [...]

Nevertheless, the presence of hemocyanin provides convincing evidence that the Planorbidae did descend from blue-blooded ancestors. A co-occurrence of hemoglobin and hemocyanin is highly unusual and has been reported only in the amphipod Cyamus scammoni, in the phylum Arthropoda [...].

(Lieb et al., 2006)
read (to the best of my ability to simplify academic texts for a field i don't study): these guys have traces of hemocyanin still in them, which most likely is left over from a hemocyanin-using ancestor

(credit where credit is due: i know this from a rassicas post discussing inkfish blood)

 

[Hokuto]

If you see us, say hi. I couldn't resist making this joke.

 

[Hokuto]

Asking slopsuit and Cephalobro for forgiveness, not permission.

It occurred to me a while ago that I never bothered to introduce my weird brain children on the forum thread I specifically made so I could get away with doing stuff like this. I heard "Sk8er Boi" eleven hours ago and haven't stopped thinking about Nalu since, so I'm dragging the rest of you (hello to my two regulars sevenleaf and nineball) down with me.

Character spotlight: Nalu Aquino
INFO: Hawaiian bobtail squid | he/they | 29 Sep 1999 ME | Impish
MAIN WEAPONS: N-ZAPs, Splat Dualies
PLAYSTYLE: ink EVERYTHING (Skirmisher)
RANK: C- on his own merit, B on Bricks's; Go-Getter (Splatoon 2)

The hardest part of explaining my lore is that three of my four Agents are inextricably tied to the convoluted Gen 8 Pokémon emergent narrative project I accidentally started in 2021. What you need to know, for the sake of this and potential spotlights for other characters (I don't expect to do these consistently), is that my Splatoon 3 save file takes place 92 timelines away from my Splatoon 2 save file. I'll elaborate if I get around to my Agent 8.

Spoiler: major Octo Expansion spoilers, minor Side Order spoilers

Nalu Prime is the Agent 4 I took through Octo Canyon last year (our time). He joined the New Squidbeak Splatoon underage to represent my learning process. Once I got the hang of the mechanics, I decided Nalu aged into proficiency and by extension multiplayer modes. After capturing DJ Octavio with Agents 1 and 2, Nalu Prime chose to stay in and watch over Octo Canyon. When his Inkopolis got destroyed at the end of my Octo Expansion run, Nalu's geographical isolation meant he only knew that his usual supply drop didn't arrive one day. Or ever. A bleak end for an unsung hero.

Nalu-92 is the Agent 4 of another New Squidbeak Splatoon, far away yet not far enough from Prime Time. Most of the time, if I'm referring to Nalu, I'm referring to -92. This Nalu is a bit of a late bloomer, based on the interpretation/mistranslation of an older Agent 4. Everybody goes through life at their own pace; the important thing is that Nalu is going. Unlike Nalu Prime, Nalu-92 chose to leave his post and live a regular life he wouldn't regret. He lucked out; almost everyone is alive and well on this timeline. Marina Iida integrated information from this Nalu into the Memverse.

Fundamentally, the Nalus are alternate versions of the same person. While they have many differences (favorite sport, who raised them, relationship to technology, the little things.), the core of Nalu Aquino remains the same.

Prime is on the left, -92 is on the right.

I'm not really expecting questions or comments, but I'm willing to address any that may arise. Part 2 when? Who knows.

 

[Hokuto]

Naluposting, the addendum:

• As an Agent 4, Nalu is surprisingly disciplined and responsible. I don't know whether he went to high school or technical school, but he got that diploma and currently works to support his tūtū now that she's old enough to need his help instead of the other way around.
• Nalu is very close to my Agent 8. They're basically married, just without any romantic implications. (They would have been superficially compatible, but Eight Problems™ make things... complicated.)
• I realized that I made Nalu babysit Leeroy during the Band Splatfest while Bricks visited urgent care, so now Nalu has a good enough reason to unleash the big brother shenanigans he dreamed of.
• Nalu's favorite video game is Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 for the Nintendo GameCube. (See my post in that Splatoon spinoff speculation thread.)
• If he was human, Nalu would be Filipino and Hawaiian.
  • Do yourself a favor and Google Hawaiian bobtail squids. They're so cute.
  • I learned a small amount of squid anatomy with a bowl of squid sarciado EDIT: the dish was squid guisado. Nalu would be so disappointed in me.
  • Reminder: DON'T ask for my opinions on Inkfish diets.
• Working on the second write-up made me realize that Nalu is a no lore, all vibes character. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I have a pretty good idea of who Nalu is as a person, which could help me fill in some of the gaps.
• "Sk8er Boi" has one of the greatest plot twists of any song from its decade. You cannot prove me wrong.

 

[sevenleaf]

Naluposting, the addendum:

• As an Agent 4, Nalu is surprisingly disciplined and responsible. I don't know whether he went to high school or technical school, but he got that diploma and currently works to support his tūtū now that she's old enough to need his help instead of the other way around.
• Nalu is very close to my Agent 8. They're basically married, just without any romantic implications. (They would have been superficially compatible, but Eight Problems™ make things... complicated.)
• I realized that I made Nalu babysit Leeroy during the Band Splatfest while Bricks visited urgent care, so now Nalu has a good enough reason to unleash the big brother shenanigans he dreamed of.
• Nalu's favorite video game is Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 for the Nintendo GameCube. (See my post in that Splatoon spinoff speculation thread.)
• If he was human, Nalu would be Filipino and Hawaiian.
  • Do yourself a favor and Google Hawaiian bobtail squids. They're so cute.
  • I learned a small amount of squid anatomy with a bowl of squid sarciado.
  • Reminder: DON'T ask for my opinions on Inkfish diets.
• Working on the second write-up made me realize that Nalu is a no lore, all vibes character. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I have a pretty good idea of who Nalu is as a person, which could help me fill in some of the gaps.
• "Sk8er Boi" has one of the greatest plot twists of any song from its decade. You cannot prove me wrong.

wait wait what happened to bricks during the bandfest are they ok

 

[Hokuto]

wait wait what happened to bricks during the bandfest are they ok

Hi! Thanks for asking? The Bandfest happened very close to when I finished Return of the Mammalians. Bricks developed an immune response to Fuzzy Ooze I can only compare to a jacked-up dander allergy. They can't even talk to Judd anymore without getting itchy for several hours. This is the kind of lore I write, where even I have a hard time deciding whether what I wrote is funny or stupid or sad. Bricks is fine as long as they're smart about how they handle themself. (They're not very smart, though.)

 

[sevenleaf]

Hi! Thanks for asking? The Bandfest happened very close to when I finished Return of the Mammalians. Bricks developed an immune response to Fuzzy Ooze I can only compare to a jacked-up dander allergy. They can't even talk to Judd anymore without getting itchy for several hours. This is the kind of lore I write, where even I have a hard time deciding whether what I wrote is funny or stupid or sad. Bricks is fine as long as they're smart about how they handle themself. (They're not very smart, though.)

ohhhh that's fun (as a lore thing. probably less fun for bricks). love thinking about the Implications of Fuzzy Ooze

 

[Hokuto]

Doing the thing again because I walked into a West Marine the other day in pursuit of their captain hat. While they didn't have the hat in stock, I did find myself wandering the store thinking "Skipper would like boating, actually."

Character spotlight: Dana "Skipper" Isgandarov
INFO: Dana octopus squid | whatever pronouns* | 25 Dec 2000 ME | Quiet
MAIN WEAPONS: Custom Range Blaster, Dread Wringer; Hero Shot
PLAYSTYLE: making other players miserable (Slayer)
RANK: dislikes ink sports; not registered with Grizzco

*I the writer feel weird about assigning pronouns to a character based on a gender unbeholden eldritch alien. (More on that soon.) Skipper the squid doesn't give a damn. I default to they/them out of habit, but you don't have to.

Spoilers off; assume all story modes are covered.

I have a hard time introducing Skipper the squid without first bringing up the character who inspired them, Skipper the sqid. Sqid Skipper (mollusc-like eldritch alien from niche sci-fi webcomic Freefall) was designed in 2020 for a group project that never took off. Three years later, I tried to fill the role of Captain in my near future New Squidbeak Splatoon. I remembered this goofy little alien and thought "hey, 'skipper' is a synonym for 'captain'!" Fast forward another several months and Sqid Skipper got an updated design based on decisions I made for Squid Skipper, which were in turn determined by the original Sqid Skipper. They also got to torment ArtFight users and an AU Echo who lives on a continent colonized by sapient dragons.

Anyway, despite (or because of?) their origins, Squid Skipper is simultaneously one of the funniest and most depressing characters I've ever written. I'm rethinking their lore for in-universe logistical reasons. Assume that nothing I have written here is fully accurate so much as lightly filtered brainstorming. The gist of it is that Dana-92 (see the Nalu Squidpost) didn't want anything that happened to them. (I don't talk about Prime.) The plan was to mow Cap'n Cuttlefish's lawn and call that their school mandated community service project. Instead, the Cap'n made Dana a key component of the New Squidbeak Splatoon's operations. Dana didn't mind leaving their hot garbage home life behind, but any ambitions they might have developed doing what normal Inkopolitan teens do never crossed their mind.

Two years later, Dana got squidnapped by an unknown assailant, along with the Cap'n and a certain Octoling, and dumped in the Deepsea Metro. Dana ditched the group and had the time of their life exploring the Metro. (I don't have a smooth segue. Autism.) An emergency signal from the other captives interrupted Dana's fun, and then they find between lapses in consciousness that the stranger they saved is the same one they beat the ink out of not that long ago. As much as I love the scene, I have a hard time buying in to "Into the Light" when a badly wounded Dana is rapidly losing brain capacity and my Agent 8 can't decide whether helicopter turbulence or crushing guilt over nearly killing an ally is making them sicker. That interim between Splatoons 2 and 3 is, as concisely as I can say it, awful. Dana seriously needs medical attention, which saddles them with equally serious medical bills. Recovery is slow, painful, and unable to return them to "normal." I'm not sure how Dana lives during the interim since they really shouldn't be living alone anymore. (This is one of my biggest logistical holdups at the moment.)

Similarly, I'm the least sure of how Skipper gets along with my other Inkfish. The Danas went to middle school with their respective Jettas and Stones, but those two would only remember them as "that weird quiet kid who chewed their claws and spat them on the floor." Nalu wouldn't have worked with Dana, but he'd probably hate them for reasons I'm about to explain. Somehow, Dana and Echo meet again and break each other apart with the force of a point blank Range Blast. My Very Strong Opinions about Agent 24 (hint: I don't ship it) inform the direction I want to take their relationship in. Too many interesting parallels to ignore, though. Speaking of interesting narrative parallels, Eight is next on my list once I can be bothered to do their little drawing and obscenely long write-up. You thought this was long? I could write WALLS about Eight.

Finally, Skipper's stint as Captain. They can't hold down a regular job, but the Splatoon still wants them around. They accept a paid position from the Cap'n without wanting to take his title, hence "Skipper." Although Skipper is technically the alias of Dana's functional worksona, they respond to Skipper off the job, too. Heck, I tend to use them interchangeably. Skipper spent 90% of their Alterna camping time browsing ORCA's library of human music, 9% staring listlessly into the distance (usually to avoid talking to Bricks), and 1% mowing the lawn clearing Fuzzy Ooze. I think Skipper would like camping too, just somewhere that wasn't filled with the ruins of a long-gone civilization and an inescapable layer of chemical snow.

Wait, I forgot to explain my DJ SANGO. Skipper has this elaborate psychological power fantasy where they become rich and famous mixing music in the Deepsea Metro. In my personal canon, the Low Water Party is merely a particularly lucid daydream, enabling all the implausible convergences of the event while hand waving away the inconveniences.

Second verse, same as the first. Prime is on the left, -92 is on the right.

Fun(?) facts:

• While a lot of the design choices I made for Squid Skipper came from Sqid Skipper, their cranial scar (not pictured) is for my best friend, who introduced me to Freefall and also has a gnarly surgery scar on the side of their head. (I hope this doesn't expose both of us.)
• Skipper's favorite artists from ORCA's music library are ROAR and Daniel Johnston. Their favorite contemporary band is, surprisingly, Turquoise October.
• If you believe in the Babylonian zodiac (I don't, I'm Chinese), Skipper is a textbook Capricorn.
• In a society driven by the latest fashion trends, Skipper actively does not care about looking fresh. They dress first and foremost for function and practicality, although I am not immune to making stupid T-shirt jokes with them.
• Skipper collects model vehicles and inflatable animal toys. The pride of Skipper's collection is their Reefslider, the only one that happens to be both of those things at once.

 

[Hokuto]

A Skipper addendum no one asked for, but I remembered something last night:

• The Art of Splatoon supposedly says that strong emotions can charge the Special gauge. As an Agent 3, Skipper wears that Special limiter regularly. Without it, Agent 3 boss fight shenanigans happen. If all of the previous statements are true, they imply that Skipper has VERY strong emotions, or at least often enough that the limiter became a necessity. I can't confirm this, though, primarily since they have a limited range of visible emotional expression. (Doesn't stop me from thinking about it.)
• Skipper is one of only two OCs whose main weapon was chosen based primarily on the corresponding special weapon. (The other is Known Tacticooler Main Bricks.)
  • Custom Range Blaster was chosen for Kraken. (Dana octopus squids are Big and I am a nerd.) Before Fresh Season 2024, we ran Custom E-Liter to cope, but this didn't work because we have bad aim. (Skipper has one good eye. I have zero excuses.)
  • Dread Wringer with Reefslider was a happy accident. I wanted something that painted better than CRB while still having a somewhat similar playstyle. Turns out Skipper can wreck shop with that kit. (We play a weirdly aggressive Dread Wringer, too, yet somehow it works...)
• An early concept sketch for Squid Skipper has them missing part of one leg. This came from Sqid Skipper's original design, but since I couldn't remember which leg (in my defense, Sqid Skipper has six "legs"), I gave up and the Skippers each have fewer than two hands.
• Skipper can't cook to save their life.

 

[Hokuto]

(bangs on drum of Order Splatling) COME GET Y'ALL WALLS

Character spotlight: "Eight" Mizuno
INFO: chestnut octopus | she/her (singular), they/them (plural) | 13 Apr 2001 ME | Timid/Rash
MAIN WEAPONS: Heavy Edit Splatling + Nouveau; Range Blaster, New Squiffer
PLAYSTYLE: stay away from danger (Anchor), fire and forget (Midline)
RANK: C- on Nalu's merit, B on Bricks's merit; Go-Getter

Echo, the Host, is an amnesiac Octarian defector living the dream after escaping a living nightmare. Izumi, the Ghost, is the long-dead human esper who haunts her. Collectively, they go by Eight.

Part 0. On the Origins of the Ghost

Spoiler: Pokémon Legends: Arceus spoilers; yes, you read that right

Remember how I mentioned a Pokémon project in the Nalu post? Remember how I mentioned irresistible narrative parallels in the Skipper post? Sorry to subject you to my Pokémon Legends: Arceus OC in addition to my Sploons, but Izumi is a weirdly important part of this story for someone I initially threw in for the LOLZ. (Diversion: Izumi is the reason I picked up Splatoon after several years of forgetting about the franchise. I thought to myself "what might Izumi have done for fun? Softball, oboe, Splatoon 2." Without my careless Google search to find out what Octolings looked like, I would never have learned that the MacGuffin of Octo Expansion is a giant blender. (This fact instantly sold me on the series. Weird lore is my jam.) I don't know whether a "thank you" or "why would you make us suffer like this?" is more appropriate for Izumi to hear here.)

If you're just here for Splatoon, Agent 8 and PLA's New Friend from the Sky have interesting commonalities in their character arcs. Both wake up as amnesiacs and receive orders from a mysterious, seemingly omnipotent source to complete a fetch quest for a nonspecific reward. Along the way, they meet allies who become difficult late game enemies, recover enough memories to share bits and pieces of their old lives, and develop an appreciation for poetry. Originally, I thought I was isekai-ing Izumi into Octo Expansion alone so she could conquer the Deepsea Metro with accumulated knowledge. I was wrong. See Part 2.

The TL;DR of Izumi's relevant backstory is still quite a read. Izumi was split apart and displaced from her original timeline by a freak spelling error. What was left of her got yeeted into 20th century Hisui. Under employment by the local colonizers, Izumi received psychic contact and support from her literal other half, stabilized her timeline despite knowing she could never return, and accepted God Arceus's summons to Heaven after completing Their divine mission. Upon recognizing the abomination They inadvertently made, Arceus smote Their creation... or so They thought. From Heaven, Izumi could seek an adjacent timeline where she was still "alive"; she exploited this to defeat God and receive the "blessing" of a higher (yet unstable) state of consciousness. After reassembling her soul "The Wanders" style, the ascended Izumi clawed her way back into Heaven to avenge the self she lost. Thoroughly outmatched for the rematch, Izumi Super Jumped away from her fate, only to overshoot the most appropriate timeline by 12000 years.

Part 1. Dreams Never Come True

Spoiler: no real spoilers, but heavy on the headcanons

H█████ Toguri was born in Octo Valley and raised in Dome 9 among other Octolings of her legal age. Toguri was a bright (if anxious) student with promising intellectual output, but lacked the size, strength, and instincts to defend herself in a fight. At the end of her training, Toguri was assigned as the tactician to a low-ranking elite Octarian unit. She made friends with N████ Walcott, the pacifistic junior medic in her unit, partially because she kept getting minor injuries out of sheer incompetence. Everyone else agreed that in an emergency, they would sacrifice Toguri first.

The first major event Toguri experienced was the Octo Valley Squid Sisters concert. Her unit was assigned to the venue on reserve. A certain one-squid army crashed the concert; the Squid Sisters followed the path of their destruction to provide support. Toguri and Walcott heard the Calamari Inkantation from the clinic , changing the trajectory of both of their lives. Toguri began to fantasize about living above ground (and about the party crasher), but Walcott convinced her to stay. Over a year later, Walcott found a copy of HaikaraWalker/Inkopolis Illustrated. Toguri, an avid reader, pored over every page. Even Walcott couldn't resist the allure of the magazine's idealized Inkopolis. The two vowed to escape the domes together.

The Inkling who overthrew Octavio (referred to in uneasy whispers as "Agent 3") made an unexpected return two years after their first invasion. Toguri's unit hadn't seen much action in their time together, but they were the first to respond to Agent 3. Because the unit went in without a game plan, Agent 3 beat the ink out of Toguri (among others) in the concert venue's mosh pit; the two vanished without a trace by the end of the night. Toguri's disappearance was written off "under mysterious circumstances." While this was technically true, Walcott had a hard time accepting it. Still, she waited for Toguri to come back for her.

Part 2. Octo Expansion

Spoiler: Octo Expansion spoilers

An Octarian defector woke up on the central platform of a train station with a one-squid army on her mind, her favorite song on her lips, and a deep desire to ascend in all three of her hearts. The Octarian Ε-001 unit would recognize the body as Toguri's, even if the defector no longer recognized herself by that name. The telephone at the train station convinces the Octoling and fellow captive Cap'n Cuttlefish to collect four "thangs" in exchange for access to "the promised land," which they incorrectly assume is "out." The Octoling lets herself become a test subject and receives the equipment she needs to search the Deepsea Metro for the thangs scattered throughout.

Agent 8, as the Cap'n calls our Octoling guinea pig, shouldn't have made it past the next station. The defector would have frozen in terror and had her donut brain blasted out of her head. I genuinely don't know whether Izumi asserting control of the body she possessed is a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, she successfully Ratatouilled Agent 8 through 40 stations with no lasting damage. On the other, a tiny little voice in the back of "her" head began to cry for help. Meanwhile, Cap'n Cuttlefish established contact with "MC Princess" and "DJ Hyperfresh," who offer assistance from above. When the captives bring the four thangs to the telephone, they find themoselve in need all the support they can get. Agent 8 and the Cap'n would have surely been sludge-a-tized if Dana Prime wasn't conveniently hanging out in the ceiling. (Why, exactly, we'll never know.) Pearl and Marina provide intel on the security measures in the facility. Izumi, after far too long, noticed the presence of a feeling that wasn't hers and realized she hadn't been in it alone.

I would like to remind you that the checkpoints in the escape sequence canonically don't work as respawn portals because Commander Tartar didn't enable that function. Every time my Agent 8 went down, they should have died for good... but they didn't. Izumi inched her way closer to a survivable timeline with each failure, dragging the soul of her increasingly terrified host along with her every time. Sniped through the hearts? No problem! Drowned in a sinking death trap? Oh, well! Inkjet fizzled out? Can't keep them down forever! Even the brainwashed Agents 3, rude as they were about it, couldn't kill the next Agents 8 in ways that mattered. After 92 timeline jumps, Agent 8 prevailed against Commander Tartar's doomsday device and the very concept of defeat.

Part 3. Dawn of a New Day

Spoiler: Octo Expansion spoilers

Agent 8's new allies were quick to help them adjust to life on the surface. Callie reached out to Agent 4 and his tūtū, who agreed to let Agent 8 live with them until they could get their bearings. Marie helped Agent 8 assume a new legal identity, complete with witness protection name—although the host later named herself Echo. Whenever Eight (as friends ended up calling them) was in town, Pearl and Marina made Eight's Inkopolitan fantasy into a reality. Cap'n Cuttlefish called Eight back to the Deepsea Metro a few weeks after they escaped. Echo's first concern was Dana. When asked about them, the Captain lied, said they went back on patrol. Eight shrugged it off and went right back to torturing themselves in the testing facility.

Echo's most important ally was inevitably Izumi. They got off to a rough start, given, you know... everything. Once they processed the "we did what we had to do" of it all, Echo and Izumi put a lot of time and effort into mutual understanding and cooperation. By design, they are so similar yet so different that one could fill in the missing pieces of the other and both felt whole because of it. The people close to Eight know who they really are, but neither thinks anyone else needs to know.

Time passed. Echo grew up; Izumi came to terms with the fact that she couldn't. Eight focused on making new memories instead of recovering old ones. Nalu grew especially close to Eight; weeks at his tūtū's house turned into months turned into a long-term agreement to care for Tūtū in her old age with as much love and attention as when Tūtū took care of Eight. Even when Eight moved to Inkopolis for a while, Nalu made sure to call. Nalu and Eight love each other to the point where they accepted most of the commitment and responsibilities of a typical marriage, but their bond is familial, not romantic.

Eight did odd jobs for Off the Hook from time to time. They got paid, of course, and didn't mind the work. One night, Pearl asked Eight to man the merchandise booth after a show. They soon became a go-to crew member at local shows, then a road crew regular. During the Off the Hook world tour, Eight worked and traveled as their merchandise manager. Izumi also expressed an interest in audio engineering, but she still has a lot to learn.

Eight occasionally visits Splatsville and babysits Leeroy, with or without Nalu. Bricks swears they saw Eight once before, but Eight thinks they must have dreamed it.

"What about Walcott?" I hope you would have asked. Walcott grew impatient enough to break the promise she made and deserted the Octarian military in search of her long-lost friend. I don't have any of it written yet, but something already tells me this story doesn't have a happy ending.

Part 3⋅8. That's What I Call "Progress"

Spoiler: morsel of dead dove

Hoo boy, I was tempted to make the horrible saga of Echo and Dana into its own post. I went into Octo Expansion thinking "I don't ship Agent 24, but whatever." I came out of it thinking "this is delicious, just not remotely in the way the Splatoon fandom at large thinks it is." The Agent 24 dynamic is one-sided at best and DANGEROUS at worst. Echo and Dana are a deconstruction, that worst-case scenario, because for some reason I've had the uncontrollable urge to write the most toxic and disgusting relationship I can with my self-imposed T rating. I really don't have answers for a lot of my own questions; by extension, I don't have a story set in stone. I just know this one CAN'T have a happy ending, especially if I was right about the way Dana processes emotions. What is WRONG with me?!

Part 4. Side Order

Spoiler: Side Order spoilers

I hate to say it after the walls of torture I just subjected you to, but we had a pretty bog standard Side Order experience. Nalu-92's Parallel Canon harassed Eight on their way up. Eight's first cleared Palette was DJ Octavio's. Their hearts beat for the finitude and uncertainty of life, especially because they know what they went through. My Eight's Palette run was not hackless; I used two Lives (tag team for Echo and Izumi) and 1.5 Damage Reduction (because I'm bad at Splatoon). My headcanon regarding how Eight ended up in the Memverse is that Marina told Eight she'd hook them up with therapy, except the therapy was the beta version of "Dramatic Days in Orderland." After a disastrous test run, Nalu gave up his Eye of Justice to replace the one Eight damaged.

Fun facts:

• Toguri was and Echo is selectively mute. She can talk freely with a few people after getting to know them, but she usually communicates in written or typed text. To avoid blowing Echo's cover, Izumi does the same.
• Echo and Calypso (formerly Walcott) were not actually named after the nymphs, but that didn't stop me from making connections.
• Echo associates important memories with breakfast foods. Example: Imagine the last night of the World Tour. Off the Hook's starving road crew sets out in search of a decent meal, but at 3 AM, only a hole in the wall diner is open. Eight ordered a stack of pancakes that hit the spot so hard, Cipher discovered the memory and preserved it as the "delicious pancakes" decoration.
• While all Agents 8 inherently have a mind motif, my Eight's manifests most prominently in dreams. Izumi had a dream motif, too. I imagine Eight dreams like an IRL octopus regardless of which form they fall asleep in.
• According to a random NPC on Sinnoh's Route 214, up to five percent of humans in the Pokémon universe have some degree of psychic ability. Although statistically I'm never allowed to write another esper, the fact that I wrote some (I regret to inform you that there are more) isn't exceptional in and of itself.

 

[Hokuto]

Happy belated birthday, Bricks! Sorry I didn't get around to you appropriately soon. I probably forgot something, but I don't feel like waiting around any longer.

Character spotlight: "Bricks" Jenkins
INFO: short-arm sand octopus | they/them | 10 Aug 2006 ME | Hasty
MAIN WEAPONS: Tacticooler Tri-Slosher Nouveau one-trick
PLAYSTYLE: splatting fools and getting splatted (Slayer/Support)
RANK: B; Profreshional (the things you do to survive...)

Bricks grew up poor in the Splatlands. How poor? They chose Team Pasta in the most recent Splatfest because their favorite childhood treat was hot dog in mac and "cheese." Before I turn this post into an examination of food insecurity and substitutes for ingredients that no longer exist (which makes for weirdly fun worldbuilding, by the way), it wasn't for lack of trying on anyone's part. Both of Bricks's parents worked hard. Bricks developed the same work ethic as they got older, to the point where they dropped out of school and moved out so their parents didn't have to support them anymore. Bricks never felt like they were missing out; their grades sucked anyway.

The Splatlands provide, so long as you know where to look. Bricks learned that salvage sold, so they spent a couple of years living out of their backpack and selling scrap. Most of that money went to meals and a bed at the nearest hostel with a vacancy before Bricks headed back into the desert. One day, after a recent Salmonid migration, Bricks found a treasure worth more than anything they ever sold: a lost Smallfry. Bricks took him in and named him Leeroy, after a legendary figure of old. Though they had always wanted kids of their own, Bricks didn't expect to become a teen parent.

The rest of Bricks's money went into savings. Saving got much harder with an extra mouth to feed, but Bricks made ends meet regardless. Eventually, they scrounged up enough for a one-way ticket to Splatsville and a little more. Upon arrival, Bricks immediately sought work. Two job opportunities stood out to them. One was with an established, if somewhat shady, company called Grizzco. The other was barely more than a flyer with a picture of an extremely old man on it. Bricks knew nothing about either company and pursued both jobs.

Grizzco paid. Although Bricks expressed some reservations upon finding out about the nature of their work, they did what they had to do. The locker rooms had showers. The break room had drinkable water and a microwave. Bricks left Leeroy wherever they were staying, unsure of whether or not Leeroy could understand the atrocities that put something resembling a roof over his head and food in his hungry little maw.

The New Squidbeak Splatoon did not pay. Cap'n Cuttlefish met Bricks over the Crater before DJ Octavio collapsed the thing in on itself. Stuff that didn't make it into my Return of the Mammalians forum thread because it wasn't plot relevant:

Spoiler: Return of the Mammalians spoilers

• Bricks probably went camping in Alterna. It wasn't any worse than some of the places they had to stay before.
• I don't think Bricks likes Cap'n Cuttlefish or his granddaughters all that much. If you're an Octoling and your volunteer coworkers keep talking trash about other members of your taxonomical order within earshot, wouldn't you not want to work around them?!
• I do think Bricks likes Skipper. Fortunately, I don't mean this in the "I can fix him" way Echo does, I mean it in a "hey, check out this model sports car I found" kind of way. Skipper can't be bothered to show it, but they developed a bit of a soft spot for Bricks. (Don't tell Bricks.)
• The canon explanation for Hugefry is that Smallfry gets imbued with The Vibes™ of all post-post-apocalyptic marine life and everything they achieved. I don't care; I write my own personal canon. Hugefry Leeroy embodied all the Salmonids who died under Mr. Grizz's genocidal campaign, avenging them like Last Respects Basculegion.
• Bricks doesn't mind that Leeroy got the credit for killing Mr. Grizz and saving the world.

Less than a week after rescuing Splatsville's Great Zapfish, Bricks sought urgent treatment for a strong immune response to the Fuzzy Ooze. Agents 1 and 2 were busy returning the Zapfish and the Captains were also out of commission, so they reached out to the former Agent 4 to watch Leeroy. Nalu took good enough care of him that Bricks kept asking whenever they had something important to do, like applying for low income housing or looking for a job that didn't make them question their morality. (They ended up getting both.) Every single Agent of the New (New) Squidbeak Splatoon has since been entrusted with Leeroy at least once.

Fun facts:

• Bricks's name and birthday just... came to me, gut instinct, on separate occasions. Their legal name is "Brichmond," but they refuse to use it because "Bricks" sounds cooler.
• If I acknowledge synergistic Splatfest adjectives, Bricks is canonically nearsighted. The longest ranged weapon they've used in PvP (with little success, mind you) is the Nautilus.
• Bricks enjoys reading, but between learning disabilities and never finishing their compulsory education, they have a fifth grade reading level. As such, their favorite books are graphic novels. (They are not a fine art appreciator.)
• When they grow up, I think Bricks should be a mechanic. If Skipper likes large vehicles, Bricks likes the smaller ones. The metaphorical Venn diagram of interest overlaps on pickup trucks. (I, the writer, know nothing about vehicles; please don't ask me to share car facts. I just think these two should be neurodivergent about things that go "vroom" together.)
• Bricks generally likes non-sapient animals better than other sapient animals. They'll exchange pleasantries if, say, they pass a taʻape on a walk, then stop to scratch her pet shrimp behind the feelers for as long as the shrimp wants them to.

And a bit about Leeroy, because at this point he's also his own character: Imagine a two-year-old child, except with fins instead of hands and feet and an anatomical inability to speak any language you know of. That's Leeroy. When accounting for the inherent trauma of losing everything you've ever known (adoption), Leeroy is reasonably well adjusted. However, he's just as prone to the whims and tantrums of any other toddler. I now understand why Bricks relies so heavily on Tacticoolers to get themself through the average day.

 

[Hokuto]

Because I can't mentally uncouple Jetta and Stone as characters, this squidpost is a double feature! This is a relatively short post because Jetta and Stone are also no lore all vibes characters.

Jetta Yasudarodes
INFO: Pacific flying squid | she/her | born 2000 ME | Hardy
MAIN WEAPONS: Splattershot, doesn't matter which kit
PLAYSTYLE: Flex
RANK: not allowed at ranked events; not registered with Grizzco

Fitzander Stone
INFO: sharpear enope squid | he/him | born 2000 ME | Serious
MAIN WEAPONS: Carbon Roller (Deco in Splatoon 3)
PLAYSTYLE: bad at Splatoon
RANK: not allowed at ranked events; not registered with Grizzco

Jetta and Stone are my Splatoon OCs from before I played Splatoon, first conceived of in either 2016 or 2018. (I also have a BNHA OC; I haven't seen a single episode of BNHA from start to finish.) They had no lore whatsoever, just Mebuika icons, because High School Hokuto wasn't thinking about who they were. I remembered them again in 2023 and wondered if they could be my Agents 3. ("They must be," I thought. I have an AU where they are, but I don't really think about it besides Captain!Jetta and her eyepatch.) Still, I remember them fondly enough not to ignore them.

As unrepentant troublemakers, neither was qualified to volunteer with the New Squidbeak Splatoon. For the Fallout: New Vegas fans in the chat, think Vikki and Vance, not Bonnie and Clyde. Inkopolis didn't benefit from Jetta and Stone's presence. Jetta and Stone were bored out of their minds. Suburban monotony, yada yada, the two turned to petty crime. This is Splatoon 2 era stuff; I never even bothered to think of what they're doing in Splatoon 3 time. I want to know what kinds of shenanigans they get around to, or if they can turn their lives around and become better people.

Fun facts:

• Jetta and Stone are partners, objectively terrible people yet perfect for each other. What kind of partners is up to the reader.
• Jetta's primary hobbies are painting by numbers and connect-the-dots. She'll throw a fit if she screws up, though.
  • I need ideas for silly Stone hobbies.
• Jetta was named after the Clifford character and also squid puns.
• Stone hates his first name. He could have shortened it to the socially acceptable "Zander," but he passed GO, collected his 20000 Geso, and calls himself by his last name.
• Jetta's favorite musician is Quinn/Ikkan, formerly of Squid Squad, currently of Diss-Pair.
• Stone's whole thing is being uncool in a world that prioritizes and emphasizes cool. (Vanity is not a personality trait, Stone.)
• Both of them went to middle school with Dana. They strike me as the sorts who would have made fun of Dana behind their back. (Over what? I don't know, probably something stupid and unimportant like being freakishly large for a squid their age.)

Jetta is on the left, Stone is on the right.

Thanks for sticking around, everyone! Back to our irregularly scheduled programming.

 

[Hokuto]

When I said "irregularly scheduled," I meant it! My arm hurts. Don't dither plaza posts by hand.

 

[Mp3]

So all the characters have gray noses are they injured or is it just your style? It looks good btw

 

[Hokuto]

So all the characters have gray noses are they injured or is it just your style? It looks good btw

I was messing around with stylistic choices, namely trying to adapt cephalopod beaks into something similar to a human nose, kind of like what happens to the Rito from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. I'm a furry, so I tend to want to preserve the non-human elements of species like Inklings and Octolings in my art. Not that long ago, maybe in the past few months or so, a Tumblr post about potential similarities between cephalopods and avians (the furry term for anthro birds) caught my attention. That post inspired these experiments. I don't think it works the way I write them, unfortunately. (Yes, I write! Look out for another squidpost in the near future, job permitting!)

While I'm here, let's start sentences with cursed phrases on main! If I were to ever draw bare Inkfish feet, I think I'd give the Inklings long, round feet in imitation of the clubs at the end of most squids' feeding tentacles. The Octolings, conversely, would probably get something akin to a bird's webbed feet, more specifically the totipalmate foot configuration on birds like herons and boobies. (Hey, Squidboards auto-censor, don't mind me! I'm talking about birds!) Four toes, all facing forward. On the hands, three fingers plus thumb for four digits. Maybe I should web the hands a little too. Don't fight me on the accuracy of my thoughts; I'm a marine science dropout. I don't know anything.

 

[Hokuto]

On today's episode of "Hokuto's Horrible Headcanons":

• The Octarian and Salmonid languages both contain Greek and Latin influences. While I headcanon the basis of Octarian as Nihongo and Salmonid as the Salish language family, the Greek and Latin commonalities allowed the creation of loanwords and other simple shortcuts that facilitate business communication between these peoples. (Take this one with a shaker of salt. I am not a linguist.) This does not mean, by any means, that Octarian and Salmonid are mutually intelligible.
• Based primarily on the results announcement of Carbsfest 2: Splatlandian Boogaloo the Bread/Rice/Pasta Splatfest, most Inkfish have both a crop and a stomach to store food. I'd say this one came from the birds again (think pigeons feeding their chicks crop milk or (this one's kind of gross) vultures projectile vomiting if their food makes them too heavy to fly) if real life coleoid cephalopods didn't also have crops. Think also of that one Sunken Scroll in Splatoon 2 that looks like a barium X-ray of an Inkfish's digestive tract, with that Sitrus Berry–shaped organ. What if? Two organs. One on top of the other. (The same Sunken Scroll suggests the ink sac in an Inkfish is by the mouth end.)
• The age of majority in seaciety is arbitrarily decided by local governments because every species ages differently, and I'm not just talking about the Inkfish here. Who wants to mark the difference between a bull shark versus a reef shark versus a lemon shark, so on and so forth.

 

[Hokuto]

I'm going to regret this so bad in the morning.
finally, Writing

 

[Hokuto]

Yes, this is fanart of my own work. It took too long not to post here. I was just starting to cope with my new sleep schedule and now I've gone and messed it up.