The Dead(er) Sea: Saltiest Catch

[TechSkylander1518]

I really appreciate you being so mature in your apology, thank you! It's hard to make tone clear online, especially in briefer messages, so I totally understand!

 

[J'Wiz]

(sorry to nearly double-post, but this is driving me insane. It's a little less fun than game salt, so I put it under a spoiler)

Spoiler

What the heck is wrong with perverts on the game? I saw someone in Salmon Run with the name "Fap2Hentai", and someone else in ranked with "Loli King" as their name. And since they did this with their names, I couldn't report them-the report button is only for posts.

I know I sound like one of those "concerned mother upset at subtle joke" posts, but these aren't just little gags-they're straight-up pornographic terms, and loli is specifically a pedophilic one. This game is literally aimed at children-quit being a creep and go play something else if you're gonna try to expose kids to child porn.

If you have your phone app, you can still report the players you encounter in Ranked, Turf, or League. Just go to "Battles", go to the battle you played with that player in, tap on the player in question, and report should be an option. You can't report players in Salmon Run, and that's where I encounter most of the inappropriate names.

 

[TechSkylander1518]

Thanks so much for the tip! I don't yet have the app, but I'll definitely be getting it now!

 

[Drew Sebastino]

You can't report players in Salmon Run

Seems like a glaring oversight. Actually come to think of it, Splatnet 2 really doesn't have any Salmon Run functionality. However, I never see people intentionally throwing games or doing other despicable things they do in other modes to get reported, but Nintendo still should have made the option for cases like this. I don't care much for Salmon Run, but it would still be nice to know the number of times you got to each wave or won in the last 50 games with the average number of revives and deaths and whatnot as well.

 

[Windstar]

I just went against a team of 4 N-Zaps, who all wore the same Respawn Punisher shirt. I want to die.

 

[TechSkylander1518]

Trying to squidparty in S+ ranked? What the heck?? It wasn't like we were heavily outmatched, either-we held the lead for quite a while.

 

[Hero of Lime]

This is older salt from last night, but I had a miserable play session last night. I try to do some turf alone just to try and get back into that more, (lately I play turf with a group of friends where we invade a lobby since it's immensely more fun) and the team comps were horrible in every way it could have been for my teams. The enemy team was always given a lot of quick moving, high inking weapons, and my teams were very specialized weapons like chargers and blasters. I myself was using the Squeezer, which is okay at inking, but it can't stand up to a team of N-Zaps, splattershots, and splooshes in turf.

I eventually switched to a Jet Squelcher and saw better results mostly, it felt bad I had to switch because the game kept making terrible teams. Now a bad turf session that annoyed me immensely sucks, but it happens. With about 10 minutes left in the rotation, I decide to play some solo ranked clam blitz. I get two matches in, both matches I get a DC on my team. I hear word that match throwers in Clam Blitz are a bit of a widespread issue, but this certainly ruined my night further either way. People can whine about the mode all they want, but that does not give them the right to rage quit because it can be annoying to get knockouts or score under some circumstances.

This is my first salt post in a long while on this site. I've been pretty good about taking my losses in this game for the most part, but last night really got to me.

 

[Slushious]

I was honestly not expecting much this week, considering most everyone else seems to have had horrible times in squid wars. Road-salt-induced sinus headache kept me offline one night, but I did manage an hour-ish last night and was pleasantly surprised.

My faith in Turf squaddies is semi-restored. Troublesome Friend and I encountered two last night who were of the party persuasion. I assume they were squaddies, since they had the same symbols in their names...but then TF and I have matching screennames and aren't in a squad, so... who knows. Either way, they were super cool. We ended up after an hour in a lobby containing

uh

counts on fingers

five people Down To Party, two who'd banded together to harass us when they weren't over in a corner doing their own little thing, and the occasional rando or lowbie totally confused by all this madness but apparently cool with winning when they were on the right team.

The Squeezer is my official party time main now.

 

[J'Wiz]

Trying to squidparty in S+ ranked? What the heck?? It wasn't like we were heavily outmatched, either-we held the lead for quite a while.

Did it happen to be an Octobrush Noveau user? If so, I encountered this...stand-up fella several times in my ranked session earlier today. Opposing team has a disconnect? Squid party to celebrate his glorious victory! I reported him.

So I decided to go and do ranked after my break from it. Afterall, what better way to improve than emotional torture? God I need to stop playing this game.

I got crapped on. On Tower, I couldn't do a thing to contribute. It felt like I was locked in spawn the entire session, which resulted in a nice rank down. Splat Zones was a different beast. Most of my matches started with my team and me wiping the enemy team, and keeping the zone for a good bit. Then it ends with us getting wiped, and not getting the zone back before the enemy's timer gets past ours. Needless to say, I'm one loss from de-ranking.

Oh the joys of trying to "git gud".

 

[Elecmaw]

Have a mountain of salt!


I'd like to extend my thanks to:
-My own stupid ***, for being terrible at videogames
-The many, many idiots who overextend to ridiculous levels and keep getting wiped over and over for no good reason
-The same people who spam lovely sounds such as NYOOHOUH and NWEEEHEH when they die, expecting me to solve their problem of being very dead and stupid
-The stages Manta and Starfish, two stages that are hell to defend on
-People who never move from spawn and keep SJing nonstop straight into the arms of the enemy
-People who spam rainmaker shots and never move
-every single G&K player, you guys are the best at making me feel like dying

 

[Mar$el]

Did it happen to be an Octobrush Noveau user? If so, I encountered this...stand-up fella several times in my ranked session earlier today. Opposing team has a disconnect? Squid party to celebrate his glorious victory! I reported him.

So I decided to go and do ranked after my break from it. Afterall, what better way to improve than emotional torture? God I need to stop playing this game.

I got crapped on. On Tower, I couldn't do a thing to contribute. It felt like I was locked in spawn the entire session, which resulted in a nice rank down. Splat Zones was a different beast. Most of my matches started with my team and me wiping the enemy team, and keeping the zone for a good bit. Then it ends with us getting wiped, and not getting the zone back before the enemy's timer gets past ours. Needless to say, I'm one loss from de-ranking.

Oh the joys of trying to "git gud".

I think I just played with you on a really crappy round of tower on inkblot with the gold dynamo. I literally couldn't get past all the tenta missiles and kept trading with the blaster. Not my hottest round and my wifi gave up on me when they were about to knockout so now I'm afraid to play online for a bit or else I'll dc again... I haven't had any dc problems in a while (a couple days) on my part but boy oh boy so many other dc's from other people...

 

[Mar$el]

Idk what you guys think of clash blaster and dynamo roller as a comp but that's what I had. A 2v4. Can't believe we didn't win...

 

[J'Wiz]

I think I just played with you on a really crappy round of tower on inkblot with the gold dynamo. I literally couldn't get past all the tenta missiles and kept trading with the blaster. Not my hottest round and my wifi gave up on me when they were about to knockout so now I'm afraid to play online for a bit or else I'll dc again... I haven't had any dc problems in a while (a couple days) on my part but boy oh boy so many other dc's from other people...

Yeah it was pretty bad. Every time I thought I sneaked up on someone, the NZap was there to get me from behind.
Me: Hey Mr. Jet Squelcher! Howz it goin'?!
N-Zap: SURPRISE!
Me: *dead*

Admittedly Tenta Missile spam is what I'm aiming for as well. I REALLY hope other people aren't starting to have the same idea.

 

[Dessgeega]

I am enraged. I lost a ranked match and gained a crack. Why? None of the usual reasons, oh no, this happened because MY FREAKING CONTROLLER IS SUDDENLY BUSTED AND UP ON THE LEFT STICK DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE. It's hard to win when you can't walk forward! This is the SECOND time this has happened, I bought an extra pro controller and sent the first off for repairs and this one is having the exact same issue after only a month of use!

What the heck is your problem, Nintendo? Why is all the hardware involving the Nintendo Switch so cheap and shoddily made!? NO other game controller has broken on me so quickly, I have an xbox controller I've been using for years and years that's still fine and here's these pieces of crap breaking after less than 90 days! This is completely unacceptable!

 

[Drew Sebastino]

@Dessgeega not to mention the (standard) "Pro" controller is $10 more than the competition, which are already overpriced to begin with.

 

[TechSkylander1518]

I am correct in thinking that a Charger's main purpose is splatting/the threat of splatting, right?

I mean, I know splats aren't everything in a match, for sure. But Chargers clearly aren't for inking-one line for that much time to charge isn't worth it. And they're not for distracting people by fighting them in spots away from the goal, between their slow firing rate and swim speed penalty.

So....why do I keep getting Chargers on my team that end the game with <5 splats? In S+ matches????

If we had closer matches, I'd get it. The scare of the laser pointer can be super useful too, especially in Splat Zones. Just gotta keep the opposing team off the zone long enough for your team to ink it up-doesn't really matter if they go to spawn or just to the sidelines. But it's not exactly the close-but-understandable losses that bring us to this sea...

(oh, also just got knocked out after holding 3 for a while, so that definitely increased my sodium intake.)

 

[Hero of Lime]

I am correct in thinking that a Charger's main purpose is splatting/the threat of splatting, right?

I mean, I know splats aren't everything in a match, for sure. But Chargers clearly aren't for inking-one line for that much time to charge isn't worth it. And they're not for distracting people by fighting them in spots away from the goal, between their slow firing rate and swim speed penalty.

So....why do I keep getting Chargers on my team that end the game with <5 splats? In S+ matches????

If we had closer matches, I'd get it. The scare of the laser pointer can be super useful too, especially in Splat Zones. Just gotta keep the opposing team off the zone long enough for your team to ink it up-doesn't really matter if they go to spawn or just to the sidelines. But it's not exactly the close-but-understandable losses that bring us to this sea...

(oh, also just got knocked out after holding 3 for a while, so that definitely increased my sodium intake.)

Chargers are fickle teammates. Part of me feels the best charger teammates let you forget you have a charger ally, because they are working from the back, keeping your team safer and the enemies back and splatted. I think it's harder to notice the better charger teammates than the bad ones. I can admit it's a personal bias to think all enemy chargers are good, and mine always under perform, but sometimes it really feels like my chargers are a burden. But that makes me wonder if I never play in a way to assist my charger allies properly too.

Either way, I don't blame you for feeling like your chargers are never on point.

 

[MeTaGross]

Chargers are fickle teammates. Part of me feels the best charger teammates let you forget you have a charger ally, because they are working from the back, keeping your team safer and the enemies back and splatted. I think it's harder to notice the better charger teammates than the bad ones. I can admit it's a personal bias to think all enemy chargers are good, and mine always under perform, but sometimes it really feels like my chargers are a burden. But that makes me wonder if I never play in a way to assist my charger allies properly too.

Either way, I don't blame you for feeling like your chargers are never on point.

I think it's easy to notice the bad chargers due to the negativity bias, where we feel about twice as bad from an unpleasant experience as we feel good from a positive experience. It doesn't help that chargers require perfect aim now that they removed partial charge splats on all but the goo tuber and none of the chargers have burst bombs. Then there is the stage design, which makes chargers even harder to play. Chargers just have no real place in the current meta unless they can hit all of their shots. It really bothers me seeing chargers in S+ with 3 splats in a battle.

 

[Dark Sage Walker]

Nintendo: Oh? Those Chargers making things difficult for you in Splatoon? Can't make any headway against a good sniper to save your life? Don't worry, we will take care of it!

*Proceeds with stage design that makes Chargers all but irrelevant."

Nintendo: There! We fixed the problem for you! Please enjoy your splatting experience!

Fans: Umm...that's not quite what we had in mind, Nintendo...

Nintendo: What's that? Make the base Splattershot the best weapon in the game? Can do!

If you haven't guessed by now, I have a fair bit of salt to spill thanks to this. I'm no Charger player. I dibble and dabble with them from time to time, but I am currently on a love-hate relationship with Chargers. For me, Splatlings are where it's at! And all be darned (keeping it PG as best as I can) if the stage designs in general have made long range weaponry difficult to use in most cases. Seriously, I keep seeing and having trouble with Splattershots and Sploosh-o-Matics all the time because the level designs encourage that type of play! Some of the recent levels have felt more rewarding for long ranged play (looking at you Shellendorf), but overall the stages are all designed for that rush in and go nuts mentality. I have the worst trouble on Port Mackerel and Manta Maria because of this! I don't think the problem with Chargers rests squarely on the shoulders of the players using them, but rather on a design doc that insists on trying to "balance" that weapon class in general while leaving everything else more or less untouched. No Damage Up perks only makes that harder for them to fight in an environment where close to mid range encounters are a dime a dozen. Don't get me wrong, some practice does a lot of good. But poor design space around the Chargers is at fault as well.

That having been said, some practice can alleviate a lot of those problems in part. If I may play devil's advocate for just a bit, I am sure that what you all have been experiencing are players who are interested in Chargers but are unsure about how to play them. I am all fine with people wanting to learn a new weapon or weapon class. Just not in S+ ranked, please? That is what Turf Wars is designed for! Or even a private lobby with your friends who will likely be way more understanding of your faults.

 

[Absolutely Absol]

Well, some S+ ranked players play in Turf War, though. I still can't use non-Bamboozler chargers very well. Actually, I'm slightly better with Squiffer and Splat Charger...

I guess I'll stick with Bamboozler.