I am once again questioning whether or not I deserve to be in Profreshional rank. Just got done playing since I need to leave for my job IRL soon, but I thought I'd take a crack at Salmon Run since the weapons in the rotation are strong (at least in my hands) and those ability chunks and drink tickets aren't going to earn themselves! I started at Profreshional 300 and felt that there was a good chance that I could rank up or at least break even. Here's how it went down.
I rarely had a match play out in any way that didn't involve failing in the second wave. All in all I lost every match...
every match that I played today. Be it through everyone ignoring eggs to continue to slay bosses with less than 30 seconds left to go, choosing not to use the cannons in the Cohock wave on the shore, an
extreme lack of knowledge of the weapons available for use, or some combination of the above. I stopped once I hit Pro 210 and just decided to call it a day, feeling like a colossal failure in every way possible.
Is it really too much to think that once you hit Pro rank that you would know that the only way you are going to do well is be collecting
Golden Eggs? Y'know, the
one big thing we are all looking for in these shifts in the first place?! More often than not, failure came from no one seemingly knowing that they needed to collect these eggs. In fact, playing the objective in general seemed like too much to ask from them. Use the cannons during the Cohock wave to ease the stress on the people running eggs? No way! We'll just run around like psychotic hamsters and everything will work out just fine! Take out the crate carriers to get eggs in the Mothership wave? Why would we do that when we can wait for them to drop off their cargo and then fight all the Chums and Small Fries that come out! Oh, and the Gusher wave should never come up in these circumstances. All of the gushers are so close together and there are so many of them that no clue really gets you anywhere close to the right one. Even slowing down and using the clues given by hitting just one and going from there, I have to continue to hit four or five more just to get clued in on which one the right one is! With ~10 of them so crammed together, there is almost no way to get enough eggs except through sheer dumb luck.
But my biggest complaint is still, and will always be, the excruciatingly frustrating
lack of knowledge on the weapons in the rotation. Once again, this is Pro rank we're talking about. Not Go-Getter. Not Intern. Not even Pro 40. I am...er, was Pro 300. At this point, one would think that enough time and patience has elapsed that people would have at the very least some basic idea of how the weapons work. But no. Not even one little hint of a clue. Unless it's an N-Zap, Splattershot or Aerospray, you can count on no one knowing what to do with it.
E-Liter, the big daddy of the Charger family. Charge up, let loose a laser of destruction. Takes some aim, but otherwise can decimate what ever it hits! Give it to a common Salmon Run worker, and they will use it to pick their noses.
Squeezer, a member of the Nozzlenose family. Fires a single, long ranged shot with a tap that is more powerful than the shots you get by holding your fire. Ideal for taking out bosses at range. Give it to a common Salmon Run worker and they will try to drink it.
Sloshing Machine, an odd but effective member of the Slosher family that fires twisting shots that have an AoE and deal great damage with direct hits! Give it to a common Salmon Run worker and they will try to stick their heads into it. I think this about sums things up rather nicely...
It takes a dozen victorious rounds to get to Profreshional. Just 12. That's a bit over an hour of gameplay. Most people don't do it that swiftly of course, but the the barrier to Profreshional is VERY small and so even C players can get there. There is absolutely no guarantee of "experience" and that's why randos are the devil :p
Takeaway message:
It is too easy to get to Profreshional in Salmon Run! Having a group of people in a rank that demands precision, proper movement skills, and a good working baseline knowledge of the weapons at hands that can perform none of these pre-requisites for said rank and dragging down the experience. Something needs to be done about this. Maybe erect a barrier to entry, like needing to have used every type of weapon for at least 10,000 to 20,000 points? I don't know, but the way things are now is unacceptable.
