The Dead(er) Sea: Saltiest Catch

[inkcan]

You're a damn good charger.

I don't know how you aimed behind you.

You're one of the onky chargers I have ever seen.

I didn't see you aim, but had eyes on you before I died.

I don't understand the kill cam.

You are a damn good charger.

 

[Elecmaw]

Today's ElecMaw's experience in Salmon Run:

"THIS WAY THIS WAY THIS WAY"
Me: "Ok hol up, what the matter?"
-sees inkling sitting on 2 golden eggs, faraway from combat- oh
-About fifty bosses appear behind me and my other teammates, cue us struggling against the tidal wave of enemies. We die one by one while "THIS WAY THIS WAY THIS WAY THIS WAY" echos in the background-
-The dweeb in the background eventually croaks too as the horde catches up to them, no doubt blaming everyone else for the loss-

...And there's more!

Me: "Okay Griller time, gather up boys and girls! Looks like they're heading to me, i'll lock them at this pla- G&K joey what are you doing"
"GRILLER? THAT'S WHERE FOOD IS RIGHT?! I'M HU-" *gack*
Me: "Oh whoops, can someone res him for me- wait, why are you jumping in the water?"
-they get ran over/plomp into the water and I'm the last person standing-
-experiences intense ear pain from having to hear "OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH" nonstop while grillers and smallfry are at my doorstep-
-wastes an inkjet trying to res them, upon resurrection they immediate go straight into the grillers again-
"why, why do you do this to me mr grizz"

 

[Lyka Phoxx]

You know what I hate? Crap shoots. That is what Ranked is sometimes. Sometimes you have teammates who know what they are doing and you just play accordingly to get an easy win. But sometimes you get headless chickens that make you question how they even got the ranks they got.They said Rank is not an indicator of skill, that is very true. But I think the speed in which you attain that rank is more of an indicator, ask anybody that made it to S+ Rank within the first 30 days of playing.

Otherwise, salt time.

• If you are holding the Rainmaker at any point, if you can manage it, try to wait until you get some backup before advancing. Glory runs are a very easy way to get splatted.

• Ever get that lonely feeling when you defend a Splat Zone and have to fight off two opposing squids and a flanker because your mates over-extended trying to establish turf control. I do. Quite a bit.

• Hey, Octobrush main sitting on my perch, trying to, what, splat someone that is about a mile away, Get your *** down from there! You are in the way!...AND YOU ARE ****ING USELESS!!!

 

[Goolloom]

Feels great to lose to a team that should have disqualified from the tournament a while ago but they are a top team so they got a free pass and could keep going.

 

[Ansible]

As joyous as the Grizzco Blaster is, Mr. Grizz meanwhile is irredeemably cruel! How is it you give me the Grizzco Blaster then hand me a regular blaster type the next? Or worse yet: Grizzco Blaster two waves in a row then a regular blaster type.

Oh, and my bonus? 9.75/10 times it's just nothing but straight cash. Majority of my chunks just come from the clothing bonus...

Stop playing with my emotions Grizz!!!

 

[Debbie]

PSA: When you see a teammate being cornered by 2 others right in front of you... don't just stand there!

Also, camping is bad. Camping when the other team had a disconnect is just mean.

 

[J'Wiz]

Ever get one of those moments where you feel you should be able to hold an opponent by the shoulder and go "We should really be ashamed of ourselves."? During a ranked match, me and an enemy were standing by each other at point-blank range, firing at each other for 10 seconds before we ended up trading. I was using the Squiffer and he was using the Sloshing Machine. It was so bad it was almost funny.

 

[Zero Meddler]

Today's Salmon Run experience:

-People who don't know what they're doing
-The Flingza Roller, quite possibly the worst weapon in Splatoon 2.

 

[Dessgeega]

V, for anonymity's sake, you were my nemesis tonight. It's not that you were a jerk or lousy, no, you played very well with your Splattershot Pro. No, the reason for my hatred is because lag, who knows where you're from, and tickrate conspired to make it so that across half a dozen matches even 5 hits wasn't enough to take you out, and I died many times as a result. Screw you, V.

Edit: Also, I managed to get into a Japanese lobby, and my god the lag was unbearable. I got fed up and quit after a match where I got killed by a bomb BEFORE it exploded.

 

[Jon914]

I've been thrown into a fair bit of Japanese lobbies in TW and League, and while the experience has been intense and fun, the lag is starting to get to me.

Often, it's kills where I'm instantly splatted with no fore-warning (no shots fired).

There was one ridiculous time where the enemy "stood still" for a second. I for-certain killed him, but instead, the game half-froze and then all of a sudden my teammate and I were dead and he was alive.

I hope I don't get matched up like this in solo ranked.

 

[Elecmaw]

The map is displayed, each team is shown, the "ready?" screen comes up, and poof, a teammate is gone. That can only ever be a ragequit. Don't you just love when people ruin a match before it starts? I pretty much never ragequit, but when that happens and the odds are insurmountable, I just won't bother - especially if someone else leaves as well. It's almost like people refusing to play the game hurts the morale of those left behind!

I've actually been D/C'd once at the results screen (And naturally, it was on a game where we won by a landslide). People can get D/C'd at the most weirdest times in this game, i swear.

 

[Dessgeega]

I've actually been D/C'd once at the results screen (And naturally, it was on a game where we won by a landslide). People can get D/C'd at the most weirdest times in this game, i swear.

If you were on the results screen, as in the map has come up and everything, the game already saved the match results.

 

[Goolloom]

Normally the Power level for S/S+ players waves between 2000-2200
I have found this gem with my lovely solo queue experiences.
1780 average power in an S+ lobby.

Spoiler: why

If that doesn't show how meaningless the lettered rank is, I don't know what esle will. The power level is a better representation of one's skill, but for whatever reason there's no way to see each person's power level AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Have I mentionned how I really hate this ranking system? :/

 

[Maave]

Normally the Power level for S/S+ players waves between 2000-2200

Really? I'm S+0 in all ranks and my power levels are 1880, 1930, 1940, 1850. So much meter breaking, so little de-ranking.

 

[RelicRaider]

NGL, my experience of S+ so far has been excellent. Easily some of the best games I've ever had of tower control. Teams have been really even, and so much of us getting onto the same point but then the other team can't get the extra point to take the lead and the tower starts going back to the middle. In the last game they got a good push, and all four heavy decos on the map; two on each team; were dominating the centre of the manta Maria. Finally we were able to take out the other two heavy decos at the same time, and then when they came back, we were able to keep them back long enough to get the push and win.

My salt being my first game in S+. I chose the pro, which I haven't played in ages, and even though I added somemkvement speed and sacrificed a little ink resistance in the process, it was really really tough getting the hang of it. I'd either get caught in little bits of ink, or too close, with my movements being on point to get out of their sight but my RoF competing it's a tentatek just wasn't a good match up, and they turned around and shot me. Also didn't help that a jet squelcher was able to pick me off quite easily almost every time. The game was over pretty quickly and I'd argue I was the worst one there. I switched to the N Zap afterwards. Much better result haha.

 

[Goolloom]

Really? I'm S+0 in all ranks and my power levels are 1880, 1930, 1940, 1850. So much meter breaking, so little de-ranking.

From my League Battle experiences, the players that compares to how people played at S level in Splatoon 1 are at about 2000 power, and 2100-2200 is S+/Near-Competitve level
I have no idea if that also applies to Solo queue because there's no way to know what the system does with each person's individual power level, unfortunately

 

[Debbie]

Match 1, Turf Wars, Moray Towers
They somehow inked all the way from their spawn point up to halfway up our tower in the time it took us to get to that point, and we weren't slow by any means. Fairly certain either cheating or witchcraft were involved.

Match 2, same
My team consisted of a disconnect, an early rage quit, Enperry Dualies and me on the Custom Jr. Lost 18.4 to 71.

 

[Wosie]

I hadn't played ranked mode for ~a week, and today marked my return... It didn't go all too well. :S Not surprising, I guess, after some time's absence from being sick. But still! I really wanted to try my best, but I think I know my main weakness. I am too careful and tend to stay too far away from the action, even though I always use low-range weapons. That should be my job, being in the fray, and I keep reminding myself of that...

Anyhoodles, I guess it didn't go terribly bad either.
Edit: ...OK, I just checked the Splatoon app, and now I know why I feel bad. xD 2 wins and 6 losses in Splat Zones... Gotta change my weapon.
Before that--6 wins/6 losses in Rainmaker. Not too shabby, 'cause I think I belong in S in that mode.
Hopefully things'll go better the next time around. (*:

The next time I will squid around will be when today's Salmon Run opens up. (Tell me if you wanna play. :3)

 

[Elecmaw]

Me sometimes:

HA! Make way for the Splatling king! I dare you all to pass me, no-one shall survive! I will claw turf in my team's hands and fight for it tooth and nail!

Me, most of the time these days:

oww stop hurting me pwease it hurts they directly rolled over me stop it meanies why am i in water now

 

[Ansible]

"I know that name..." I say. Seen them randomly on other's Splatoon vids or clips. Even been steamrolled by them a few times. If they're not on my team, hard carrying my team... they'll be hard carrying the otuer team... and~matchmaker tossed them to the other team. Okay, okay, I think I know how to counter them. But I don't have the right tools for that task. And my range makes me a valued target--just, just get it over quick!

Meanwhile... how about them Dapple Dualies. lol wut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

patapatapatapatapata "Everyone ignore me while I ink stuff I can't defend, lay down beakons for everyone to ignore, and creep on you!" patapatapatapata "Because I gotta get really really close and invade your personal space to splat you!" patapatapatapata "Hey! No fair fighting with a longer range weapon--which is everything else!" *is shot at* "Fine then, I'll turf somewhere else! Y'know if I had my inkbrush or brella instead, you'd regret bullying m--*shot at again*" Alright, alright, I'm leaving... big meanie... " patapatapatapatapata