The Dead(er) Sea: Saltiest Catch

[Maave]

I like to tea bag...squid bag? Ink bag?...I like to go in and out of squid form rapidly after each successful round.

squid party when it's in celebration, squid bagging when it's a taunt.

 

[OogieBoogie]

squid party when it's in celebration, squid bagging when it's a taunt.

then yes...I squid party!

I am a tad salty after my most recent match, where some moron on my team thought it was...idk...cute....to follow us around submerged in ink in squid form and spam "booyah" over and over for the duration of the match. I wanted to punch his puppy.

 

[ZEROrevive]

Dear enemy carbon roller user,

Please, PLEASE refrain from just spamming the tossing of Autobombs towards the middle of map in Muscleforge Fitness. I know, you think you can win by just using your sub weapon (gee, sounds familiar to someone from a certian manga...)...but all you end up doing is making yourself look obnoxious, and give carbon rollers a bad name. Don't make me have to splat you every single time...because its boring, and it gets old when your such an easy target.

Sincerely, ZERO- fellow carbon roller enthusiast.​

 

[RelicRaider]

then yes...I squid party!

I am a tad salty after my most recent match, where some moron on my team thought it was...idk...cute....to follow us around submerged in ink in squid form and spam "booyah" over and over for the duration of the match. I wanted to punch his puppy.

The worst is when all three of them follow you around like a train and watch you get slaughtered as all four of the other team are playing properly.

 

[Joasa]

I think I've battled myself out. After 4 days of dominting ranked and turf and getting double digit kills nearly every round I'm starting to wear down. I really hope that rush of good playing wasn't temporary because yesterday I stunk really bad, even with the octobrush, my best weapon so far. Or maybe my trigger finger is just exhausted.

 

[Coleo&Idea]

I'm disappointed of the turf war matchmaking. In Sploon 1 I could play pacifistic and get matched with low levels who are way less aggressive most of the time and play a chill turf war.

Now it's just: Oh you're Level 7, ink as much as you can and rarely splat any opponent? Here, have fun with these Level 32 S+ players who aggressively splat anyone who comes in sight.
oh come on! ;_;

 

[Dessgeega]

Start a rainmaker match, we pull off a team wipe, I grab the rainmaker and get a huge lead, connection unstable, match drops, second crack in the bar that is a pixel-wide sliver away from ranking up. RAAAAAAAAAAGE!
Edit: And then my Switch straight-up died for several minutes. If that happens again I've got a real problem.

 

[ForteReborn]

I am close to -B minus on all my ranks. Done great consecutive streaks so far and- GRAHHH, what are you doing my team? Stop gathering in one port and spread out! No, no, bad newbie brush users! Don't swat your brush on the tower!? There is a definitive barrier between you, and that point of it keeping you from splatting others!

No, bar, don't crack! Ugh, switch. Oh no, more brush users on my team. Why tower control with the standard version especially? Why aren't they using their bombs? What is preventing them? Why are they believing their brush is officially OP?

Okay, Splat Zone should be okay.

No, no. Not more brush users. Ugh, no, please, use your brushes accordingly, stop trying to swat everyone you see. Use stealth. GRAH! My gauge is beginning to crack, and brittle as we speak. Stop relying on me for the job, no, do not puppy eye me!

Fine, guess I will attempt turf.

Eyes the amount of Aerospray MGs suddenly.

I supposed I can live with this.

Watches them bury their wits into the ground, and get hammered by his tri-slosher.

Uh huh...

Return of the brushes.

FUUUUUUUUU-

(PS: I am a brush user, and this makes me hurt in places were it shouldn't. PSA: If you are going to use a brush, don't expect it to deflect everything. Stop trying to go at sloshers, they are anti brush weapons. Go BEHIND them. Same with any weapons, use bombs, take advantage and use stealth. WHY isn't this being addressed? Same for aerosprays. Just because your little pewpew shoots fast doesn't mean it is the god of the turf. Oi, where is my pain medication?)

Edit: The reaper looks upon me with an unsettling glance as he bestows me this bunch of more aerosprays. In fact, I should start eating them for breakfast.

 

[Hero of Lime]

Sooooooooooooooo I'm going to come out and say something crazy, but I think the ink armor can be far more annoying and broken to go up against than a bubbler or kraken. At least with those two, it was centralized to one person, sure they could get a panic kill pretty easily, but if I'm a bystander a little ways away, I could approach and be ready to take out the player who had the special. With the ink armor, the entire enemy team can become invulnerable. For just a few moments yes, but that can destroy your entire team if used at the right time. And that description fits a Splatoon 1 special, not the kind they wanted to make in Splatoon 2.

Maybe I'm just so angry at the special because I am up to my neck in dealing with Tri sloshers and N zaps constantly spamming the special getting easy kills. I can't be the only one encountering people just flocking to the weapons with ink armor.

 

[D3RK]

It's far too easy to keep your rank and it really shows atm. Even at the A ranks there are so many (insert preferred derogatory term here) teammates that I just want to slap in the head. Chargers glued to spawn, 1 vs the world players (gotta love that ouch spam), people afraid of center stage. Please go play turf wars... Seriously.

 

[ZosDaddyO]

Litterally JUST found out. About the ticket exploit... the one the removed at the update half an hour ago.

 

[Slushious]

Less salt and more sweet&sour, I guess?

I'm feeling the pain since turf is slowly morphing back into what it was in the latter days of Sploon 1, but eh. Some amusing things from the other night...

The enemy squid who politely waited for me to set off my missiles before splatting me :'D
The teammate who consistently booyah'ed me back and followed me around for two matches. He was pretty cool, since he did actually play as well.
Two teams so intent on camping that we spent an entire match mowing our way around Humpback (currently my fave level) to camp each others' spawns. That was an amusing results screen to look at, to say the least =p

 

[ForteReborn]

Hey everyone, it's your extremely bitter, and sadistic squidkid: Forte. I am back with another tale that happens to knock out the previous tale alone. As an inspiration, all my salt tales will be written in format of a story. So sit back, grab some popcorn!

Now for our motion presentation...

Forte presents...

The attack of the Aerspray MG!

It was 5:00 AM, and the sun hadn't risen to brightly gleam through my window seal. (Minus the curtain.) As usual, I give myself a generous hour to get ready for the day. The switch was mounted on it's display, awaiting to be played once more as I took it with me.

Booting up the game, I thought about one of the items I ordered. There was a particular one with main swim speed up, and was three stars. So I thought...

"Couldn't be too expensive," Said me, totally oblivious to what I will be greeting from Murch. That salty little cab with that smug look upon his one-eyed face. How I will loathe him so much once I find out the exact amount I have to pay.



I felt my spine turn into a pile of ink, trembling at the staggering price.

"It's cool Forte, I can use one of my tickets to up the amount I receive from the turf wars," Said I, with somewhat skeptical confidence. Already I suffered from the extreme losses of meeting newer generations of squids thwarting my wins with brushes, and aerosprays. Gingerly, I went into my first battle with a splattershot.

Lost again.

"Alright, maybe I am just not in the mood," Said I, with minor annoyance hurling from my breath with utter dry heave spewing from my teeth. So I went, switched to my standard carbon with all the ink savor mains and ink resistance that that was blessed upon me by some unknown force. (Thank you Splatoon god!)

Selecting the regular turf war again, my reality was not prepared for the inevitable that I was not intending to meet.



Why so many AEROSPRAYS MGS!?

The match starts with my throat tightening, I felt I had to tend to my own accord. As the match starts, I flail my roller to gauge across the Moray Towers, descending down the path while the triple fleet of aerosprays go in a cluster down in the middle of the fray. In the back of my head, I had a withering doubt they knew what exactly to do. I kept towing along, charging up my ink storm. Something was amidst. I watch as my inkling companions where wipe out constantly along with the other team blasting each other.

Now worry settles in...

"GRAH! Do I have to do everyone?" I growled in fury, taking my spot away to venture to the other side, I called for them. No response, so I continued on the other side. Soon as I left to cover the other turf, the opposing side quickly is matted in ink. Glaring, I flew back over, attempting to take out the little pest with my roller.

Coming across them, I found out I was powerless. They were spamming their ink armor in indefinite rates, making me have to abandon their encounter and use only my bombs to scare them off. But we lost. Starring at the other splattershot, I felt sorry he had to witness such a massive slaughter. I bite my lip, hoping the next match was least likely of 'them'. Of course, that was without failure...

​

Now I was angry. I had to give up my regular roller abilities to become a brush user/slosher temporary to protect my little 'newbies' from being a complete idiot. I descend quickly at the bottom with my roller wielded as I quickly mark the middle from above, then watch around like a hawk, covering ground where they might tread.

That was of course without being a moronic bait. Yet, I took it with a general relief, it was fine with me!

"Hahahaha, yes, just take those ink rails and come to me!" Cried as I kept smashing the oncoming team within the weaving ink threads. This went on for a while, and I was beginning to think of their intelligence was lacking in the department...Hum.

It was time i step up, I was getting rather bored of their same path so I went in the middle of the choke hold to see what was up. I saw them all come together. Me, my team and the opposite coming all in a clogging artery, ready to burst at the right moment.

So I sat there, laying in my own puddle of ink, observing the match. In my devious manner, I felt it would be funny to toss one of my bombs into the mix. Hehehe, well, the picture is worth a thousand words.


-----------------

The end...! Till next time...
​

 

[Kimmorz]

I've got some salt piled up now, and it's time to let it go. This is going to be entirely about ranked mode, because turf wars are pretty mild and not worth getting salty over. So let's do this!

Let us start talking about Rainmaker. For some reason, I have the worst luck in this mode. In one match, one teammate kept placing beacons on the spawn point. Everytime they died, they added another beacon. There was a point when there were 3 beacons on the spawn point, and 2 next to it. Ugh. Then in another match, a teammate and myself were struggling to hold back the enemy team, and of course, we kept dying- with 4 of them and just the two of us. When I checked my map while respawning to do a superjump, where do I see the other two teammates? Completely on the opposite side of the map, just inking around the enemy base. I can understand one player going off and making that mistake, but two of them. Needless to say, we lost that match horribly. Lastly, there was a match where one of my teammates grabbed the Rainmaker, and then proceeded to carry it to OUR SIDE OF THE MAP. Thankfully, someone on the opposing team took them out pretty quickly, so it didn't get too far on our side, but WHY. I am cursed in Rainmaker, and will never make it out of C-.

No particular issues about Tower Control or Splatzones (that I can remember, mostly just matches were teammates are nowhere to be found, and I'm riding the tower by myself with no cover), but I will complain that I was just a sliver away from from ranking up in Tower Control, but I had several bad matches in a row (I already had 2 cracks), and went down two-thirds of the way. That was painful. At least tower control is my best match, so I hopefully will get that back up soon. Orz

I may add screenshots later to show my pain.

 

[Dessgeega]

Ahhh KOU, I will never forget you, mostly because you were magnificently stupid. You died 10 times in Salmon Run, and I witnessed your attempt to defeat a Scrapper by walking into the front of it while firing. I'm amazed that we won in spite of you.

 

[the]

I lost a match and then disconnected in the last minute of two assured wins.... I just wanted to come home from work and play my new game, internet. Why did you choose now of all times to conk out

I was trying to get exp and freshness bonus for splatterscope, but i went from 1.5 to 0.0 because of that : /

 

[ForteReborn]

I lost a match and then disconnected in the last minute of two assured wins.... I just wanted to come home from work and play my new game, internet. Why did you choose now of all times to conk out

I was trying to get exp and freshness bonus for splatterscope, but i went from 1.5 to 0.0 because of that : /

I also hate that new temporary ban you get after you get a few disconnects. I feel like I am being scolded for something I have no intention of doing, and it makes me feel like Nintendo is playing babysitter.

"No more Splatoon 2 for 5 minutes!"

"What, c'mon!"

If anything, if makes me far more angry than anything else in the game.

 

[Dessgeega]

I also hate that new temporary ban you get after you get a few disconnects. I feel like I am being scolded for something I have no intention of doing, and it makes me feel like Nintendo is playing babysitter.

"No more Splatoon 2 for 5 minutes!"

"What, c'mon!"

If anything, if makes me far more angry than anything else in the game.

Could be worse. Imagine if they brought over Smash Bros's disconnect penalty, which escalates from 5 minutes to a maximum of 30.

 

[Ansible]

*adds a pinch of fashion salt*

When do I unlock three-star gear? And when can I start adding extra slots to my gear? Because look at me! LOOK AT ME!!


Noise cancelers, that Grizzco Industries shirt, and cream basics... I look like I work at a food court or convenience store! (that's a time in my life I don't want to be reminded of or return to!)

"Welcome to Grizzco Industries' Salmon Burger, home of the salmon burger, can I take your order?"

And my abilities? They pretty much say, "It's payday, I have an hour left in my shift, I'm on an extended fifteen minute break, and I have the next few days off. Let me make it through this day!"

And Sean isn't too much help—"only one ticket at a time?! Look at me Sean! LOOK AT ME! I can't continue turf wars lookin like this! Mos def not going into rank in this!"

Good thing I haven't decloaked my online status yet—no one on my friend list must see me like this! ¬¬

 

[Dessgeega]

Good thing I haven't decloaked my online status yet—no one on my friend list must see me like this! ¬¬

Just everyone on the forum instead? ;) If I recall correctly 3-star gear opens up around level 13 or so. Extra slots comes at 30.