The Dead(er) Sea: Saltiest Catch

[Goolloom]

It's sad when you just want to use the Goo Tuber in twins and you get two peices of s**ts, sweaty try harding, fun hating, meta abusing, dog kicking, baby punching, Bambi's mother killing, double parking, Game Of Thrones spoiling, making plans and backing out at the last minute, lemon stealing, talking in the middle of Simon Says, s**t posting little bastards.

Instant ragequit after the game start. I don't know why, but safe to assume that is was because of me. There is no way that synchronized disconnect was an accident

No, seriousely, it's really sad when seeing a weapon is enough to make people LEAVE THE GAME ALTOGETHER
why do I enjoy the meme weapons

 

[Sifu]

Clam Blitz, Musselforge.

I trade with their Tentatek, securing a team wipe. The only players left on the board are our Forge and RBP, who are heroically defending our basket. Against a team of ghosts. They just stood by the basket, doing f***-all to take advantage of the fact that the enemy team was down.

At least I'm no longer in the C ranks

 

[Green Waffles]

-teammates who have never tried aiming at an opponent
-teammates who have never heard of the concept of helping a teammate(they'd rather watch the opponents splat you, while they're well within range to shoot said opponent... yeah, they're not looking in some other direction, they're staring right at you <_>)
-horrible connection
*DCs
*getting shot through walls 2 seconds after taking cover
*bullets phasing through opponents
-dip ****s who run into the enemy base, thinking they're he-man and can dunk they power clam... alone. . .
WHEN WE'RE 50 POINTS BEHIND LEARN HOW TO DO BASIC MATH YOU-

Let me list some positives.
-squid parties when 2+ people DC at the start
-the occasional teammate who understands how to aim
-playing in twins
while much more challenging than solo, it does not feel like I'm get ***** in the *** before someone buys me dinner.
and you can talk pleasentries with your buddy

 

[Ansible]

Wasn't planning on doing any actual ranking up tonight. Just wanted to relax being the goalie-charger, work on passing clams to teammates, and get some target practice in, y'know? But instead I mostly get:

• myself playing as striker-charger
• players still learning how the mode is played
• squidbaggers of mediocre skill
• laggy players with laggy abilities
• regular disconnects
• match throwers because of disconnects
• players using anything but power clams to open the goal
• teammates not turfing
• teammates bringing power clams back to our base
• teammates constantly hanging around me or near the base until I can coax them into midfield and beyond
• teammates not clearing out an overran base because I got multi-teamed, we failed at turfing, and/or no one wants to push forward even when things are in our favour

And this is just B-... I almost want to sulk in a corner

And I'm foolhardy enough to try and play it as much as I can til splatfest (thankfully?) rolls around to drag me away.

I'm use to playing most squad sessions on silent running—no VC, but I'm highly doubtful about doing clam blitz incommunicado.

 

[Ansible]

So~ I was turfin' on the other side of Moray Towers when I got caught, tried to escape, and tripped over enemy ink before I could jump the gap. As just as I was falling to my doom—I confusedly landed on solid ground! I looked around and saw more ground... covering the gap that separates both towers.

What is this?! Did they just child proof Moray Towers?! Why did they remove my tower pitfalls!? Blasted millennials!!!

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

 

[Dessgeega]

A friend and I lost 50 points in league for a match we didn't get to play. Match starts, music plays, sweeping camera shot happens again, and again, and again... communication error, -50. You don't even have to play the game for it to punish you. BAH!

 

[J'Wiz]

This Splatfest has been insulting. I started off with a placement match to judge my power. My opponents were at around 1800, which is a fair start. We lost due to a last minute wipe. After that, they kept insisting on putting me in the 1600 area. Let's ignore my individual performance. Yeah, I led in splats on my team, got 1k turf, and was only splatted twice (guess when the second death was). I lost, so that must mean that's way too much for me.

So what happens after that? I play against people who are umm.....not too seasoned. Rollers who do nothing but roll. Brushes who fail to kill someone at point-blank range. Splattershots who sneak up on you and use Splashdown. I'm schoolyard bullying these people, but I barely gain any Splatfest points a win (because being the only player with splats in double digits means nothing).

*sigh* I like Splatfests because they're the only way I can see my individual power, so I'd like to think it's a good gauge of personal growth. Instead they pull this nonsense.

On one good note, I teamed with Jon914 for a little bit, and it gave me a couple hundred points.

 

[Green Waffles]

@J'Wiz I know the feel
Seeing my personal power level makes me vera... competitive

Which is why a small part of me also misses when we didn't see any form of rank during splatfest. It was just "LOL TURFWARRRR!!! Taste my ink ya squits!"

I dunno
I like being able to see it, but I also don't like being able to see it =/

 

[Slushious]

So this week:

Teleporting Octobrush. Truly amazing, when did Teleport become an ability? Unless said squid was stacking all the speed ups known to squidkind, because in addition to being unholy fast they were also possibly some form of a lagmaster and kind of cruising across the ground without moving. Ghost Squid? Cryptid?? Hacker???

Pro tip, if you've been spotted by two people, shot at by both of them...don't expect at least one of them to not know where you are when you dodge duck dip dive and dodge around a box and into a corner from which you cannot escape. I felt a little bad schooling that squid. A little.
Pro tip 2, if you've tried to single-handedly spawn camp the other team twice in a row and been splatted within seconds each time, maybe STOP TRYING. Learn, squiddo. Learn and live a little longer.

My first mostly-party lobby encountered in the wild. They seemed fairly cool with me partying with them in passing and then running on to wipe out the other two actual players...who were both on the other team. We lost that match, but won the second one when they decided to turf a little as well. I got friend requests from two of them immediately XD

THANKS FOR THE PITY SPLAT, @ThatOneGuy <3 You and your blaster are a force of nature.

Today:

-I really hate Snapper Canal.
-Squid thought he was gonna camp us. He thought wrong.
-Terrifying e-liter locked down the center of shifty station. I almost got her. Almost.
-Somehow I become the Bane of Rollers.
-SO MANY BOOYAHS. I was in booyah heaven for an hour and it was a really great end to a work day :D

 

[J'Wiz]

@Green Waffles Yeah....thinking back on it, maybe it would have been better if I ignored Splatfest Power. Seeing everyone go on with "Awesome! My Splatfest power is OVER 9000!!!!!!" while I end up nowhere near put needless self-induced pressure on me.

Any other time I would be happy. I more than pulled my weight in my solo matches. I just saw that Splatfest power and it got to me.

 

[Jon914]

@Green Waffles Seeing everyone go on with "Awesome! My Splatfest power is OVER 9000!!!!!!" while I end up nowhere near put needless self-induced pressure on me.

To me, Splatfest is supposed to be fun, with the best part being able to turf together with friends on the same side.

If there's any progress to be measured, it's not the final score I look at but how well I perform in harder matches.

 

[Dessgeega]

I'd like to give a shout-out to the worst rando I have ever had in Salmon Run, or maybe ever :P They were always away from the group, wasting time with egg guarding, dying a lot... However, the kicker was that we failed on wave 3 because things went to hell, we needed one egg, he had one and was AT THE BASKET for the last 15 seconds and never cashed in, failing us.

 

[CM86]

Fun fact. I have not won a single splatoon 2 splatfest......................................................................................................................................................................................

 

[Sifu]

Fun fact. I have not won a single splatoon 2 splatfest......................................................................................................................................................................................

Just pick whatever I pick - I seem to always choose the right side ;)

 

[Goolloom]

Though we had a mostly good league session, I wish I could feel good about it, but we have the league matchmaker to blame here again.

I was playing with my team and all, we got our placement matches at around 2050, considering the highest team we fought was 1900 power and every other match was below 1900 for the whole session we weren't suprised all that much but still ended at 2084.7, winning 4-5 points per match

So after the rotation ends, we see that we got #6 worldwide and #5 in NA.... There were only 60 teams total with 44 of those being NA. We were all expecting much worse considering that we only had 2084.7, but here's the very stupid thing we noticed upon checking the score...

Spoiler: Image

There is a whopping 100 point gap between the 3rd and the 4th team.
Why is that even allowed to happen?

 

[※Zachary]

I played a match of splat zones once...


Had a disconnect and a trash team. Wound up with 20+ splats. Second on my team was 9. :(
These squids aren't cutting it. I tried to win... really did... but I think they threw the game.

Kinda depressing. Anyway Stay Fresh!

 

[Flopps]

Played a round of clam blitz...

Octobrushes just rush into your base, pick up one clam to get 10, and throw it into the basket :(.

 

[ThatOneGuy]

THANKS FOR THE PITY SPLAT, @ThatOneGuy <3 You and your blaster are a force of nature.

Thank you

 

[MelodicFeline]

Played a round of clam blitz...

Octobrushes just rush into your base, pick up one clam to get 10, and throw it into the basket :(.

Thanks for the tip, hehehe.

 

[Flopps]

Thanks for the tip, hehehe.