Corrupt a Wish!

Granted, the unicorn is only a shell of its former self. In fact, it's just a mound of hair with a stick on it.

 

granted but you have no wish so what do i grant

i wish I wasn't so confused.

 

Granted, because this is my plan, which is more confusing.

I wish I didn't have to edit this wish in.

 

Granted, but you get banned for laziness.

I wish the Pokemon anime was better

 

Granted, but now it's Digimon

I wish I could be good at sm4sh.

 

Granted, but you're only good with mii swordfighter and are BEYOND trash with every other character.

I wish for sonic boom to be a good game.

 

Granted, but now the big focus is that series, and not the main canon.
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I wish I could have amazing artistry skills.

 

Granted, but now your skills are so amazing that every pen/pencil you use for drawing bursts into flames because you draw too quickly and digital art programs corrupt the file and turn it into mush. Afterwards you pass the corrupted files off as abstract art and become a billionaire. Then you go bankrupt.

I wish the wish in my signature would come true.

 

It came true, but now your game is corrupted

I wish I had some cake

 

Granted, but it's stolen by everything and anything else in your household.

I wish that I had a genie...

 

Granted but every wish you make with the genie gets corrupted

I wish to meet JOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHNNN CEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAA!

 

Granted, but now an airhorn cover of his theme song will forever be on repeat in your head.
I wish Marie was nicer.

 

Granted, but Callie becomes the biggest jerk in Splatoon history (or something *shrugs*)

I wish I had a new laptop

 

Granted, but it won't have any internet access and be complete garbage when it comes to running regular programs on it.

I wish I was a pro gamer.

 

Granted, but your eyesight and muscles deteriorate as a result of spending so much time gaming.

I wish this cough would go away

 

Granted, but your arms will itch for all eternity.
I wish I could reach S+99.

 

Granted, but your rank is so fresh you can't be put in a lobby.

I wish I was better at long ranged weapons.

 

Granted, you are now only capable of using the custom elitre scope, and are permanently bound to the reduced vision, even when not aiming.

I wish I could use the H-3.

 

Granted, but you'll have to stick with it permanently and won't be able to play in ranked battles or tournaments ever again.

I wish my aim was better when I get pressured.

 

Granted, but when not under pressure you can't hit the broad side of a barn XD

I wish I could eat more bagels