Corrupt a Wish!

Granted, but everyone else now mains the elitre which outranges you and kills you before you can position.

I wish I could speak every language

 

Oops sorry XD

So there's a new page. Will edit this when I can see it.

EDIT: Granted, but you are illiterate in every language.

Um

I wish that I had some watermelon or funnel cake.

 

Granted, but they will be gross.

I wish the splatterscope had something like kraken and disruptor to help in close-quarters combat.

 

Granted, but because of the tunnel vision it's utterly useless.

…Okay, I'm exhausted, someone make a wish for me

 

Uh, G1ng3rgar1 wishes that she had every Nintendo game in the world.

I wish that I was an inkling.

 

Granted, but you will have to be cryogenically frozen for the next few million years until squids evolve far enough to become inklings.

I wish I could bend the elements.

 

Granted, but you actually bend them (don't worry, I got what you meant) and they are no longer usable to anyone XD

I wish I could speak more languages

 

Granted, but you´ll only be able to speak long-forgotten languages and not be able to teach them to anyone.

I wish I could strafe better.

 

You can strafe through the walls, like an instinct, and get to sniper positions that no other squid could dream of. Your victory was short lived, however, and you eventually get your console bricked from strafing so far out of bounds.

I wish for faith.

 

Granted, but you won't have any other emotion other than faith and salt.

I wish this wish and my next wish won't be corrupted.

 

Granted, but every wish after that is corrupted

I wish I could focus on one thing for the time I need to

 

Granted, but you won´t be able to focus on anything else after that.

I wish I was better at video games.

 

Granted, but for the wish to come true you have to live in your mom's basement for 5 years

I wish I had some food

 

Granted, but you´ll only get spoiled food.

I wish I was a dragon.

 

Granted, but everyone will try to slay you

I wish I was able to do my hair (I have curly black hair)

 

Granted, but you will go completely bald in 2 months.

I wish for games I want to be free.

 

Granted, but any games you might want later are double the MSRP

I wish I could have the Squid Sisters Amiibo

 

Granted, but they will look completely messed up and corrupt your save file if you try to use them.

I wish I could reach S+99 and keep it.

 

Granted but at the price of Splatoon crashing, rendering your rank useless

I wish I was good at long ranged weapons and short ranged weapons

 

Granted, but you will be horrible with mid ranged weapons, and they will be the only ones you can bring to ranked battles.

I wish I had a pet squid.